A couple of funny Valentine's Day stories

Funny Story #1

While taking the A train down to work (I know. I live nowhere near the A train. How I got to the A train is not a funny story) this young couple gets on the train. The young lady proceeds to take a baking dish covered with aluminum foil from her bag and opens it. It is full with homemade cookies. She begins to ask people on the train (yours truly included) if we wanted some Valentine's Day Chocolate cookies that she baked earlier today. Umm, doesn't she know that the residents of NYC who ride the subway have learn the art of looking through people on the subway and not make any eye contact let alone take cookies from a stranger on the subway? When everyone (including your humble narrator) politely declined to take a cookie, she looked genuinely surprised and disappointed. Ah, the naivete of some people.

Funny Story #2

So this guy comes into the bar with this chick. Now this guy has come in before and he is a major ballbuster. He never tips and he never asks for his drinks with any kind of courtesy. He always says "I want a" or "gimme a", so to return the favor of his "courteous" behavior, I make it a point to ID him and whomever he comes in with. So I proceed to ID him and his date. He's born in 1971. No issues there, but she was another story. She shows me an ID, It says that she's a student from Bronx Community High School. Umm, I'm not sure if they realize but High School ID cards are not a proper form of ID to try to get into a bar. And the dude has the nerve to get upset. I mean really fool, she's showing me a High School ID. HIGH SCHOOL!!!!

So after they leave they try to come back in and she shows me a New York State Learners Permit. It says she was born in 1991. 1991!!!! I was a sophomore in college in 1991. I mean to each his own but damn, the girl, who by the way didn't look 18 was 18. 18!!!!! So let's do the math, shall we. He was born in 1971, and she was born in 1991. So that means he's 20 years older. Dude, can't you find a woman who's of legal age to drink? Do you have really to troll around High Schools to find a woman? C'mon now.

FH

New Yorkers have become Snow Wimps

You know, I have to agree with my friend Dorie and her Facebook status update. Here it is:

Just because it is snowing does not mean this is a blizzard. Have we as New Yorkers been so pampered in these last years that one flake of snow sends us screaming and flailing in fright?? Come on!! I'm embarrassed to share a city with you. GIVE. ME. SNOW.

So the wife, the kids and I go to Pathmark yesterday to buy things in case the snow gets too bad and to be honest, our shelves were somewhat bare. And yes, the schools were already slated to be closed due to the impending snow but never did I expect to see what I saw. As I entered the supermarket, I see lines everywhere...and I mean everywhere. It seemed as if the "stout" and "strong" people of the Bronx were dealing with the end of the world. It was utter madness. I should have just turned around and gone back home. But since we were there, why not just go through with it. What a mistake.

The shelves were ransacked with merchandise and produce just thrown around all over the place. People were jockeying for positions on lines, yelling, cursing and it was getting rather brutal. I sent my wife and the kids to McDonalds to wait for me while I waited to use a self-service line. Here's where it gets "funny".

So it seems that instead of using a service entrance/aisle to bring merchandise in, the Pathmark employees chose to bring shopping cars full of stuff through the front of the store asking to cross through all of the aisles full of shoppers. And of course they chose right where I was standing to navigate. For those of you who know me I'm not a small person. I take up space and if someone is trying to get by, I just can't nudge myself over. I have to completely move out of the way. And I do so.

As I'm trying to get back, a woman starts to berate me. She says that everytime I move, people cut into her line and in front of her. I say what do you want me to do, the Pathmark people are coming through here where I'm standing. She says don't move. What am I an animal? I'm going to say I'm not moving? C'mon now. So as I try to explain myself to her, she's like don't raise your voice to me. Now I've already had a real bad week and the last thing I need is for someone to dance on this frayed last nerve I have. So as I usually do (and it won't happen too many times in the future) I take the high road and apologize (for nothing that I did wrong) just to shut this woman up before I do something that I would otherwise regret. In a smug tone she says "Good and have a good night" as the other people on the lines yell out "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" a-la The Jerry Springer show. Really, I can't make this up people. Now you see why I complain about the area where I live.

Yeah, in her ghetto donkey mentality she got one over on me. F$ck you and the high ghetto horse you rode in on. To make a situation worse, a few minutes later, another woman started yelling out to the people on the lines "Lets all just leave with our stuff. Pathmark can't stop all of us from taking what we want". Damn woman, that is how riots get started and people get trampled. Luckily no one was stupid enough to take her up on her offer though as I looked around, some people seriously contemplated it.

I have to tell you. I deal with @ssholes all day at work and for me to deal with it on my free time just pisses me off. I treat people with respect at all times (even when I throw them out of the bar or not let them in) so I expect the same. Last night was the last straw. Never again will I place myself in that predicament. Pathmark on Bruckner Boulevard will never get my money. Ever! I rather overpay at the Associated down by Bleecker Street and LaGuardia Place and shlep it all the way home on the train burdened by shopping bags and know that I'll be treated with respect as I always have been there.

And all that was due to was to a little bit of snow that we have gotten today. F'n wimps.

To Print or Not to Print

I have a saying I like to use every so often. History is doomed to repeat itself. Ok, I didn't come up with this little pearl of wisdom. But I do stand behind it. I firmly believe that humans are likely to repeat the failures of the past rather than the successes. Why? I believe that it is easier to fail and fall back on the mistakes rather than being proactive and blaze a new path towards success. So what does this have to do with printing or not printing as how my title suggests. Allow me to elaborate.

In today's New York Times, there was an article called Rebuffing Scholars, Germany Vows to Keep Hitler Out of Print by Nicolas Kulish. The article describes the upcoming situation with the expiration of the copyright on Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. Copyright law allows for the rights of the copyright to be valid 70 years after the death of the author. Which puts the date of expiration of Mein Kampf's copyright at the year 2015. The Bavarian government has held possession of the copyright since Hitler's suicide at the end of World War II. In essence there are two schools of thought on the topic. One side is the government who is vehemently opposed to the printing of the book in Germany both out of respect to those killed by the Nazis duing the Holocaust and in respect to German law which prohibits the dissemination of Nazi theories, ideologies and images (among others). The other side is led by The Institute of Contemporary History which is located in Munich. Their stance is that there should be a critical, annotated version of the book which would be printed after the copyright expires. By printing a scholarly version, the institute looks to oppose any volumes that would be printed by Neo-Nazi forces. So what does this have to do with me. Allow me to elaborate.

Going back to my original statement of "History is doomed to repeat itself", I believe that by prohibiting the publication of this book, Germany is prone to repeat the mistakes of the past rather than curbing them. Why not use the book as a teaching tool. The book is easy to find through many outlets here in the United States such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble. So if someone in Germany wanted to get the book badly enough they can. Why let people sneak around to get a book when the Bavarian government can make a statement of printing a version that can be educational and at the same time respectful of the dead. To be honest, the book's printing will undoubtedly offend someone. The materials can be spun to reflect the opinion of any group. That can be said about any book. But with a book of this nature, it is imperative that if it is published, it should be through an educational lens.

I read Mein Kampf during my undergraduate years for a class (which one I don't remember) and I have to admit that it was downright scary. But I believe that the banning and censoring of books and knowledge is scarier.

FH

Breaking Up In a Digital Fishbowl

I meant to put a post on this subject a few weeks ago but it kind of got lost in the sauce. But I came across it again, so here goes. A few weeks ago I was flipping through the Thursday New York Times and saw this article in the Thursday Styles section called Breaking Up In a Digital Fishbowl. As I read this, all I could do is shake my head at some of the things that were described.

First off, how people who want to prove their devotion and trust to their partner share the intimate details of their email, bank and other passwords. Really now. Give me a break. I have a joint bank account with my wife that we use for house expenses. the account is linked to both of our personal accounts. But when I log on to the bank website, I can only access the house and my personal account. The same with my wife. She has her's and I have mine. The mistake people make is that sure you can trust your partner now, but after a breakup, please change the passwords. There's no point of having an "ex" access your personal information. Ever.

Second, maybe I'm too old to care but the article talks about the digital trail about the backup online. How sites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace can announce the breakup to friends and let the ex know of any new developments in the life of their former partner. Again, really now. So your ex has a new man. So what. Get over it. Go find a new chick and move on with life. People will always (well almost always) move on with life. Come on now, are we in High School? Please.

Third, folks using a service such as Loopt to keep track of your ex-partner through their phone service borders on the psychotic. The website Crunchbase.com described the Loopt service as so:

Loopt is a mobile social mapping application. Using cell phones and mobile devices, it displays the locations of a user’s friends along with their presence status (available, away, etc) visually on maps or on lists. Based on GPS and related data, users can request alerts when friends are within a certain distance, send messages to groups of friends in particular area, and be able to tag and blog physical locations in a way that’s accessible to friends through Loopt.

I mean sure, the program sounds innocent enough when used for its intended purpose but man I have to say, but this is some crazy technology. Give this kind of information of the wrong person and...So what do you do.

The article quotes an attorney who gives the following advice:

he advises divorcing clients to change their passwords, stop posting on social networking sites, acquire a new e-mail address, and secure or make copies of whatever is posted about them online. Users, of course, control what they post on private accounts. Where it gets tricky, though, is when photos, videos and comments have been forwarded, retweeted or reposted to friends’ accounts or on public Web sites.


Ok, easier said than done. For those of us who maintain sites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace our activity on these sites has become something of a daily ritual. We can't imagine our day without accessing our friends comments and status updates. So cutting off is easier said than done. We hope that those who we spend time with in a relationship now, is the person who we believe to be mature can be so when we are no longer involved with them.

For those couples who chose to share all your information with your partner. Just stop. Privacy doesn't mean cheating. Just because you keep your phone password to yourself doesn't mean you're hiding phone numbers and steamy texts. It just means that you have your personal space and he/she has their own personal space. If they can't understand that, then maybe they should just hit the bricks.

Whatcha think. Let me know.
FH

People Have Some Nerve

Part I
Ok, so I'm at the front door and had the most bizarre experience. I just had some foreign chick correct me by saying that I didn't ask her for her ID with a "please". If any of you that know me have seen and heard me work, I always ask for ID's with courtesy and respect...that includes saying please. I live by the theory, you treat them nice coming in, they treat you nice going out, but I digress.

So after I told her that I said please, but to amuse her I said Please again she shows me her passport. I thank her making sure that I listen carefully for the "You're Welcome" that I knew would not come. Of course, I find that those who correct someone one their manners never really have any to begin with.

So in a little piece of petty snobbery, I loudly said "You're welcome" and corrected her by saying when someone thanks you protocol dictates you say you're welcome.And to top it off, she left not a red-cent on the bar.

Proper decorum prevents me from describing her as I would like to.

Part II
Once again, these two foreign chicks come in as I just finish changing a keg. As I approach one of the ladies and ask her for her ID, she points her finger up gesturing for me to wait as she storms by me headed to the bathroom.

I have to admit, she caught me off guard leaving me telling the other young lady that was with her that she was rude. As tempted as I was to pull her back by her long hair, my being the gentleman that I am, caused me to hold back and just let her use the bathroom.

I mean, I would never dare go in a bar to only use the bathroom and not ask if I could. The nerve.

Is it a full moon tonight?
Later,
FH

Been a while

Wow, just realize that its been a while since I've updated my rant site. Now please don't fret you good and fine folks, things have been pretty hectic as of late and I promise to resume chronicling some of the craziness that makes part of my day. Hope the holidays were fun filled with family and friends. See you soon. FH

And with the final pitch...Winter is here

Last night The New York Yankees won their 27th World Series Championship against the defending World Champions Philadelphia Phillies. As a Yankees fan I am happy at their achievement. As a baseball fan, I am saddened by their victory. The sadness is due to the realization that with the end of baseball season, The Boys of Summer have departed and winter is upon us.

No longer shall we see the gleaming white bases offsetting the coarse brown of the dirt paths separating the green blades of infield and outfield grass. The familiar sounds of the cracks of the bats and the pop of the ball smacking the leather of the glove have been replaced by the howling of the lonely winter winds. The days will seem shorter, the sun will seem dimmer and the weather will feel colder.

I await with anticipation for the day that pitchers and catchers report to Spring training. Until they return in February. Until the day that the Boys of Summer return bringing the Spring and Summer with them. Until then...