General Wallace Needs My Help

I got this email today and really wanted to post it. Here goes:

My name is General William S. Wallace, the former United States Army Training and Doctrine Command (TRADOC).

Actually, I acquired 17.3 Million US Dollars from an oil business I did in Iraq with an Iraqi citizen. I need a good partner who I can trust to assist me in receiving the consignment on my behalf.

All arrangement to bring out the consignment from Iraq have being concluded with a United Nations diplomat. I need someone who can receive it since I cannot receive it directly due to my status. I am offering you 20% of the total sum for your assistance and the 80% will be transferred to my account which I will instruct you in my next email to you on how it will be transferred to my account.

Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to. If you are interested I will furnish you with more details. But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times.

The best mode of communication to me is through email. I look forward to your reply and co-operation, and I thank you in advance as I anticipate your co-operation waiting for your urgent response.

Thanks for your understanding.

Best Regard,

Gen William S. Wallace (RET)
(williamwallace@web2mail.com)

Ok, so I'm a little skeptical about this email. Can you blame me? What would a retired four-star general in the United States Army who served as Commanding General, United States Army Training and Doctrine Command (TRADOC) at Fort Monroe, Virginia from September 5, 2005, to December 8, 2008 need with me? I mean really, like the Zimbabwe Email scam that I blogged on roughly two months ago, do you expect me to fall for it. Even worse, are there really people out there gullible to fall for this shit. Like my dad says: Pobre America. LOL.

FH

Mr. James Goes to Miami

So the hype surrounding LeBron James' destination for the 2011 NBA season is over. On his hour long special, James announced that he would be signing with the Miami Heat. In doing so, he joins Dwayne Wade and newly signed Chris Bosh as a formidable trio on the hardwood. While the fans in Miami celebrate through the night, the fans in Cleveland burn the James #23 jerseys. Let me not forget the Knicks and Bulls fans who feel like a jilted bride left at the altar.

Allow me to address the Cleveland scenario first. This city hasn't had a professional championship since 1964. It has been a long 46 years in a city that has no hopes for the Indians, Browns and now Cavaliers. I empathize with the fans. They feel betrayed by one of their own citizens (James is an Ohioan from Akron). I see where their anger comes from. They feel betrayed and to a certain degree they were. James should have told the team directly that he would no longer play for them in person and in private. It showed a lack of respect for the Cleveland Cavaliers organization. My friend Jonathan said it perfectly: I just blame Lebron for doing that to Cleveland on prime time-that's like going to Yankee Stadium and breaking up with your girlfriend on the jumbotron. Bad form.. Agreed.

Now for the Knicks and Bulls fans, here it gets tricky. The Bulls have a much better team in place for the upcoming season so their fans have something more to look forward to than the Knicks fans do with their team. In place the Bulls have newly signed Carlos Boozer, Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah and Luol Deng while the Knicks have their own free-agent signing Amar'e Stoudamire and center Eddy Curry. To be honest, I'm not sure if the Bulls fans were placing their hopes with the signing of LeBron James as the Knicks fans were, but to be mad at LeBron for signing with Heat instead of the Knicks is the kind of situation where you shrug your shoulders and say "What Can You Do". There was never a guarantee that LeBron was coming here to New York. As fans tend to do at times, they sold themselves on the idea that LeBron would definitely be playing in Madison Square Garden. Oh, just one last thing to you fans of all the free-agent teams LeBron didn't choose: Would you be still be upset on how LeBron delivered his news if he had chosen your team? I don't think so.

LeBron said it clearly in his post-interview comments that he didn't sign with the Heat for the money. He signed for the chance to win a championship. His chances for a ring are definitely better with the Heat than they are with the Knicks. I know people calculated that LeBron would make double the money in New York City with his contract and endorsements than in any of the other free-agent markets but as I said a few days ago it wasn't all about the money but the opportunity. Sure some of you will say "He's a traitor to the Cavaliers and Cleveland for leaving". That may be true, but let me put this in a certain way: If you got the chance to get a better job with better opportunities for success wouldn't you take it? Haven't you ever taken a job for less money than others that you had because you felt the lesser paying job would be better for you? If you can say yes to either one of these questions, then you did the same thing that LeBron James did, just with small figures. LOL.

Where I would say that he erred was in the way he went about in telling the world his decision. It smelled of ego and unnecessary spectacle. As Some say he undermined the sport of Basketball and has dented his legacy. I mean who knows. I didn't feel it was he right way for him to go about it but if I were to find a silver lining in all of this was that the proceeds from the commercials would be donated to the Boys and Girls Club (a reported $2.5 million in donated revenue from the telecast of The Decision). ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski puts it best in his article named LeBron's unsavory 'Decision' spectacle.

Only time will tell if LeBron's move from Cleveland to Miami will be a successful one. Who knows, maybe the big three of Wade, James and Bosh will make the necessary sacrifices to their games to ensure a championship. Like I said before, time will tell.

FH

Now I'm In The Heartbreaking Business Too

Aside from being a ballbuster and an asshole, now I am a heartbreaker. Trust me folks, this has nothing to do with the ladies. LOL. For the last year, people have been buzzing about the chances of LeBron James signing with the hometown New York Knicks. The talk seems to overshadow the World Cup, Wimbledon and dare I say it the New York Yankees. This is no different at the Bleecker Street Bar. Conversations rage on nightly debating whether or not Mr. James is coming to lay his roots in New York and I have to get caught in the middle.

There's this regular (who shall remain nameless) that has been utterly harassing me about James. For the record, I didn't think a that he would come here a year ago and I don't think it today. People like to say that he can make more money here in New York City than in any other market. That's true. But look at Michael Jordan, he wasn't the highest paid player during his time in the NBA. He could have been but I believe that he felt his best chances to win championships (which they were) was with the Chicago Bulls. So money isn't everything. I feel that with LeBron James, he's that kind of person that puts loyalty for his home state of Ohio over the potential money of New York. Plus, there are too many questions with the Knicks. Aside from the recently announced signing of Amar'e Stoudamire they have no one signed but do have the money to spend. To me it seems like there are too many "Ifs" to count on. But back to the harasser.

So last night he comes in and I know he's itching to ask me about LeBron. I avoid him like the plague. After 3 or 4 shots of Jameson, he catches me at an off moment and comes in with the question: Is LeBron coming to the Knicks. As usual I say no. Flabbergasted he asks why and I go into my usual explanation about why I don't think he's coming here and the regular says that I am breaking his heart. Really? You're a grown man of 50+ years of age and I'm breaking your heart. Come on, grow up. I decided to let it go and ignore his statement and change the games that are on the TV's.

Again he rails into me as to why I don't think why LeBron isn't coming here and he's really annoying the fuck out of me. Again he says I'm breaking his heart. So I tell him that if he doesn't want to hear what I have to say then don't ask me. I mean really, I don't mince words with this guy since prior employees at the bar have coddled him. For example, he would get downright ripped the previous night and come in the next night and ask how he was the night before. The former employee would say "No, you were ok". He'd ask me and I'd say "Dude, you were fucked up". I don't have time to baby grown men.

I told him in regards to LeBron, that I didn't really care where LeBron or any of the NBA free agents signed. It doesn't help me out any. Then he asks why do I hate the Knicks. I don't hate the Knicks, I just hate what they have become through mis-management and incompetence. Its like I tell him, you ask me an honest question and I'll give you an honest answer. Period. I'm not Picasso and I don't paint pretty pictures with my words so at times my opinions go against the grain. I'm not someone who marches with the status quo. I'm my own man and really don't care if people don't like what I have to say. In the end its my opinion and that's all it is. My opinion.

To make matters worse, he wants to bet with me about LeBron and I tell him that I don't wager. Why make matters worse. Again he can't believe that I don't want to make a bet with him. Don't feel bad, I say, I don't want to be against anyone. Its not personal. With that I go into the office and he turns his drunk ass to leave.

I tell Mike, I wish my wife was here so she could see with her own eyes why I don't like socializing with people on my free time. See the shit I have to put up with?

FH

Innocence Lost

What happens to us humans that cause us to become such skeptical and distrusting creatures. What event in our little lives leads us to go from innocent to jaded. I could fill the many pages of a book with all reasons that I can come up with. But why did I come up with that.

I saw this woman fanning herself while on the train. Sitting to her right was a man with a young boy in a stroller. He had to be about 2-years old and was watching the woman as she moved fan back and forth. She looked down at him and saw that he was watching her and she smiled at him. He smiled back in a coquetish manner. It was fun to watch this little boy's interaction with the woman. She played peek-a-boo from behind the fan and the boy would just cover his eyes in tune with her movements. The dad just shook his head, apparently this is a common activity for the boy on the train. LOL.

Allow me to go back to my original statement: What happens to us humans that cause us to become such skeptical and distrusting creatures. Look at the boy who at his young and innocent age is interacting carelessly with the woman. Then look at those of us who ride the trains with the "look-through" stare of strangers who seem to look through the people who are sitting in front of us on the train. We make eye contact briefly before quickly breaking said contact to avoid anymore personal contact. The way we pretend not to hear the homeless people who walk the length of the train asking for money and food as if they don't even exists in our periphery. Sucks doesn't it.

FH