Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Sometimes Real Life Can't Be Invented

Sometimes people don't believe some of the bar stories I tell them. Here's one for example. Last Sunday night was rather slow and Chuck and I were being entertained by Clarence, Dawn and a quartet that seemed to love my work playlist. The two women of the group were from Norway while one of the men may have been French, the other dude didn't have a discernible accent. So since the bar was empty, I didn't mind their dancing to the music. Rather pedestrian. No? Ok, let's fast forward a few pints of Bud and a few shots of Jaegermeister.

By now only Clarence is with Chuck and I, a random dude at the bar and the mad dancers. Bump around the bar they go while "dancing". Luckily the bar was empty or else they'd have bumped into anyone and anything in sight. As it was they were already one foot out the door, the next act in the play would seal their fate. 

As I walk to the back to use the bathroom, one of the ladies was with the non accented guy. They looked as if they were simply talking amongst themselves. As I am finishing in the bathroom, I hear a series of loud "THUDS". As if a bowling ball was dropped on the floor. As I run out to see what happened, the dude was later out flat on his guy while the chick was straddling him while flexing. When I asked them what they were doing, the chick said: We're wrestling!!! Not in my bar they weren't. LOL.

I pulled them both up and told them to finish they drinks and get out. I told the dude that she was ready for him and to take her home, to which he nodded in approval. After all she was kind of feisty.You think that it would end there? NO!!! There was one more act.

A few minutes later, the Fabulous Moolah of the group runs to the back of the bar with the non accented dude in tow. As per my experience, when that happens only one thing is going to happen. To use the jargon of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, the bathroom was a witness to some Norwegian "reversal of fortune". Guess Moolah couldn't take the wrestling bumps after all.

Luckily for her and us, she was able to make the bowl and after making her offering to Oppkast: The Porcelain God of Vomiting from Norweigan mythology (Well, not really. It's the Norweigan word for vomiting. I thought it was witty, LOL) the group quietly put their jackets on and slinked on out the door. 

Ah, another riveting Sunday in the bar business. 

FH

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Man and His Dog on the Train

There really is something special in the relationship between a dog and its master. I got on the train as usual to go to work and to my right opposite of me was this older man sitting with a small dog on his lap. I observed how the man seemed worried about something and spoke to his dog. His companion sat there looking up at its master listening to every word intently. Imagine trying to get one of your kids to do that without fidgeting. LOL. 

The man pulled out a bag of Doritos Spicy and Sweet chips and both him and the dog ate from the same bag. Occasionally the dog would hear something that would catch his attention and momentarily lose focus in his master and the bag of chips only to return to the delicious treat. 

On and on the man spoke to the dog and the dog just returned to looking and listening. After a few minutes the dog got off of his lap and sat down next to him, deciding to get a better look at its surroundings before laying down. It made me realize that I really miss my dog. His attentiveness, especially when I had something to eat that Buddy would have love to have me share with him. :) 

It's amazing how we as humans can treat each other like shit but an "animal" like a dog treats up with the utmost and unconditional of love and affection. We can all stand to take notes and learn from these devoted creatures and in turn give them all we can as they do with us. 

FH

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Pay It Forward

An interesting thing happened as I got off my train stop today. I was approached by a man who asked me what part of the Bronx he was in and how he would go about going to a different part that he needed to go to. I directed him and he seemed to be satisfied with my answer. That I wasn't giving him false information. 

We go on to talk about how he's recently out of jail and asked of I've heard of a particular gang/organization and tells me the name of the leader. Now for reasons of my own I won't go into details but I acknowledged that I had heard of what he asked me about and introduced himself to me as said person. To make a long story short, he was asking me to help him out so he could visit his daughters who were living in another state. Now, normally I'm not one to "fall" for a story but my gut instinct told me to listen to him. He was not disrespectful in the least. On the contrary he was quite humble. He never exerted himself as being anything that he wasn't. He wasn't apologetic or bragging for and about who he was. He was simply just asking a family man (as himself) for a favor from the heart. Never once did he ask for any specific monetary amounts. 

Ok, like I said earlier, I'm not one to fall for a story but sometimes you need to believe in and help people. I was going to take a short cab ride from the train home. Instead I decided to give him what I would have spent on the cab and decided to wait for the bus. Why? Honestly, something in him made me want to help him. Maybe it was his tone of sincerity when talking about his children. Who knows, maybe one day (and I hope that I don't) I'll be in a similar situation asking for the same kind of help. Anything can happen. 

The only thing I asked of him was to pay it forward when he was in a position to do so. He agreed to do so as he shook my hand. Now maybe I was taken for a rube. Maybe not. Hell, I spend what I gave him on a shot and tip at a bar for something that overtime with constant drinking can kill me. So why not help someone who I felt was in need. What do you think.

FH

PS: I decided to do an Internet search on the person who he said he was as though the pictures I found were of someone obviously younger (circa mid 1990's), they looked like him. Now my curiosity is peaked. 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Woman With The Blue Tips

She silently enters the train at 125th Street wearing a while Hello Kitty t-shirt and a pair of black spandex tights that look spray painted on her shapely lower body. What actually stands out more than her round derrière is that the lower part of her long hair is colored various shades of blue. From midnight blue near the middle, to a bright lapis lazuli near the bottom with some turquoise thrown in at various intervals for variety. The shades of blue seem to play well against the chocolate color of her skin. Very well indeed.

FH