Monday, March 28, 2011

A Hasidic Man Walks Into the Bar...

Ok, so the weirdness continues. This older Hasidic man approaches the bar and walks smack dab into the front door. After adjusting his black hat, he nods to Ben and I and walks into the bar. Ben gives me a weird look as I observe the gentleman. He walks around the high tables, fixated on two ladies who are sitting talking to themselves. After he does a full circle around their table, he stops, tips his hat and has a short conversation with them. Ben asks me if he knows them. I just shrug my shoulders as he approaches the bar near the window. He asks Mike something and walks out. 

I approach the ladies and ask them if they knew him. They said they didn't. He apparently told them that we has from Israel and was in town for a convention. That's as far as the conversation went. Mike called me over and said that the Hasid asked him for Gentlemen. My guess is that he was looking for company with the ladies and directions to the nearest Gentleman's club from Mike. 

Like Jack Nicholson said as the Joker from the 1989 Batman movie: There'll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight.... LOL. And it's only 9:40pm. Let's see what else cones through the door to make me laugh.


It's Bad Over There

A guy comes up to me while I'm waiting for the Downtown #6 train on 14th Street-Union Square. He's pointing to the rear of the station an saying that things are worse over there. I take my headphones off to hear him, not knowing if there was a problem of if he was just a nut. Lo and behold, he was a little screwy.

He says to me that things are bad over there but are worse in Santo Domingo and Puerto Rico. He's dipping in and out of English and Spanish as he spoke not sure if I understood him. He goes on to say that going to jail in Santo Domingo and Puerto Rico is not like going to jail here. There are no libraries or free lawyers. I just nodded to him and as he walked away he yelled out in Spanish: Coño, ni hay agua, which for you monolinguals means Damnit, there's not even water.

The moral of the story? If you are going to go to jail, don't do it in Santo Domingo or Puerto Rico or how about this thought, how about trying not to go to jail. Just saying.


Monday, March 21, 2011

The Bar Conversation of the Weekend

This had to be the bar conversation of this past weekend:

Man 1: You take that girl home the other day?

Man 2: What girl

Man 1: The one you were making out with.

Man 2: I was making out with a girl?

Man 3: Yeah dude, for over an hour with my friend that you met the other day.

Man 2: I did? Damn, I don't remember.

Man 1: What do you mean you don't remember

Man 2: I don't remember. Must have blacked out again.

Man 1: Damn it. Ever since you broke up with that other chick you've been blacking out every night you drink.

Man 3: You keep blacking out like that and you're going to get yourself in trouble one day and not know why. (Man 1 nods in agreement) That shit's not good for you.

Man 2: I know. I'm not going to black out anymore. Hey, give me her email.

Man 3: Why?

Man 2: I want to let her know that I'm sorry for not remembering that I made out with her and didn't remember her.

Man 3: Why would you want to do that. Ignorance is bliss bro. You tell her that, then I have to hear her complaining how you forget that you made out with her. Let it go bro.

Well fellow readers, what do you think happened at the end of the night:

A) Man 2 finished his beer and went home and had a good night sleep

B) Man 2 had a few drinks and left nice and buzzed but aware of everything

C) Man 2 got himself so drunk that he was granted VIP entrance to the blackout zone.

What do you think the right answer is.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Teachers Should Return to Their Roots

This past Wednesday was a bit of a throwback day for me. Gaby's teacher, Ms. Aguilar gave my son a talking to based on the way he's been treating his sister. Like I told Briggy, if I was someone else, I might have taken issue with it. She wasn't rude to the boy, but she was stern, forceful and when he wasn't looking straight at her, she made him look at her.

Some parents today would have taken exception with how she went about talking to him. See, I was raised to treat your teachers as if they were your parents. You treated them the same way that you would treat your own parents, if not better. In today's environment where teachers are being maligned for the job that they are hired to do, I feel that some teachers hesitate from being that authority figure that they need to be. You hear the stories of parents being abusive, and even getting physical with teachers for doing their jobs in trying to educate their kids.

I'm glad Ms. Aguilar spoke to my son the way she did. Most teachers need to be strict when needed as most parents also need to be strict. I find that kids today are a bit more reckless due to a lack of discipline both at home and at school.

I would have never dreamed of doing what some of these kids do today. My dad's grocery store was in walking distance of my High School and a number of the teachers would frequently stop there. Not only that, if anyone in the neighborhood saw me doing something inappropriate, I would have been ratted out in an instant. There was no way that my dad wouldn't have found out. I guess the saying is true: It takes a village to raise a child.