Stories from the Bar on a Saturday Night

Story I
So during the Serena/Clisjters US Open semi-final, something happens that causes Serena to walk off the court. As the drama is unfolding on the screen, this dude takes a stool and stands on it to reach the TV over the vending machine. He proceeds to raise the volume. When I ask him what he's doing, he says "I'm raising the volume". I proceed to tell him that the least he could do is ask since its not his bar or TV's to touch. He says but its a bar (Like its ok to do so) and I retort that I would never touch a TV in a bar if I never worked there. The dude waves me off like its no big deal and half-assedly asks if I can raise the volume. Any guess on my answer? NO, in spite I wasn't going to raise the volume and HE says that I was rude because I wouldn't grant his request. The presumptiousness of some people. Maybe I was raised differently to respect other people's property. As they left, he says to me "Where did I learn my manners", to avoid any escalation I just told him to have a good night. What a turd.

Story 2
So we have a line for the men's room (as is prone to happen on busy Friday and Saturday nights) and I'm getting the dudes in and out as fast as I can. So as I'm almost done on the line, this dude tries to shoot past me into the ladies room. I tell him "Sorry bro, can't let you in there". The "Bro" had a short haircut, a plaid shirt and shorts. So "he" looks up at me and says in a woman's voice "Oh, I think I can prove that I can go in there". I take a double take and look at HER chest (there were breasts there, little ones mind you) and just laugh with her. As she goes in, I open the door and tell her that's a dirty trick which got her to laugh harder. As she comes out I ask her "How often do you do that" and she goes on to say "Every chance I get" as she squeezes my arm. Well, that made up for the turd in story 1..