Pay It Forward

An interesting thing happened as I got off my train stop today. I was approached by a man who asked me what part of the Bronx he was in and how he would go about going to a different part that he needed to go to. I directed him and he seemed to be satisfied with my answer. That I wasn't giving him false information. 

We go on to talk about how he's recently out of jail and asked of I've heard of a particular gang/organization and tells me the name of the leader. Now for reasons of my own I won't go into details but I acknowledged that I had heard of what he asked me about and introduced himself to me as said person. To make a long story short, he was asking me to help him out so he could visit his daughters who were living in another state. Now, normally I'm not one to "fall" for a story but my gut instinct told me to listen to him. He was not disrespectful in the least. On the contrary he was quite humble. He never exerted himself as being anything that he wasn't. He wasn't apologetic or bragging for and about who he was. He was simply just asking a family man (as himself) for a favor from the heart. Never once did he ask for any specific monetary amounts. 

Ok, like I said earlier, I'm not one to fall for a story but sometimes you need to believe in and help people. I was going to take a short cab ride from the train home. Instead I decided to give him what I would have spent on the cab and decided to wait for the bus. Why? Honestly, something in him made me want to help him. Maybe it was his tone of sincerity when talking about his children. Who knows, maybe one day (and I hope that I don't) I'll be in a similar situation asking for the same kind of help. Anything can happen. 

The only thing I asked of him was to pay it forward when he was in a position to do so. He agreed to do so as he shook my hand. Now maybe I was taken for a rube. Maybe not. Hell, I spend what I gave him on a shot and tip at a bar for something that overtime with constant drinking can kill me. So why not help someone who I felt was in need. What do you think.

FH

PS: I decided to do an Internet search on the person who he said he was as though the pictures I found were of someone obviously younger (circa mid 1990's), they looked like him. Now my curiosity is peaked. 

The Woman With The Blue Tips

She silently enters the train at 125th Street wearing a while Hello Kitty t-shirt and a pair of black spandex tights that look spray painted on her shapely lower body. What actually stands out more than her round derrière is that the lower part of her long hair is colored various shades of blue. From midnight blue near the middle, to a bright lapis lazuli near the bottom with some turquoise thrown in at various intervals for variety. The shades of blue seem to play well against the chocolate color of her skin. Very well indeed.

FH

Silence is Deafening

I've said many said that many times that silence is golden, but in the week that my beloved dog Buddy has been gone the silence is downright deafening. Where life changed when we got him. Life has changed once again when we lost him. Man I miss him so much.

Rest in Peace Buddy 6/2001-2/23/2012

We often take routines for granted. They are something we do on a daily basis and when we need to shake things up a bit we like alter said routines for a sense of change. But what happens when our routines are changed due to a loss of someone or something important. How do we deal with what some would call mundane tasks.

It's something that I am having a hard time dealing with since we decided to put our dog Buddy to sleep. Buddy was a part of our lives for almost 11 years and part of our kids' entire lives. Something as simple as sitting in the living room could be punctuated with the jingle of the tags of his collar as he moved around the apartment, to his chasing the cats around to his placing his head on my lap as I sat in my chair. I mean waking up is weird since Buddy slept on my side of the bed and I always had to be wary about stepping on him. So you can imagine how eerily quiet the apartment is without the big lug making his usual racket.

I know that things like losing a dog or a cat to a disease or illness is part of the experience of having an animal companion. But no matter how much you plan for the inevitable, we're creatures of habit and are used to having our faithful and unconditional companions by our sides day in and day out. Even though Brigette and I had the discussion a few days earlier, I guess I just never thought that I would have to be the one to make the final decision on Buddy so soon.

I know he is at rest. Part of me is relieved for him and grateful that he is at rest since I know that at least for the last week Buddy was not himself. The symptoms of anemia that he was exhibiting made him a shell of his former energetic self. Had that been the only issue, but there were many underlying issues such as many lumps that seemed to be growing over his whole body including the massive lump that was lanced in December which refilled and became even bigger than the original in a matter of a week early this month. Add that to the swollen right paw, the edema of the chest that he developed and the very blood filled urine that he expelled while at the vet dispelled any doubts that I may have been feeling in my decision to give my Buddy some peace from the undoubted pain that he was silently suffering. I know some people have said and will say that I made the right decision. And I know that in the long run that I have made the right decision. But its hard to feel that way after spending his final moments with him, watching him close his eyes and take his final breaths and seeing him lay peacefully. It's an image that I'll have burned in my mind for the rest of my life.

I can only speak for myself but I find that things for me will never be the same. I know that at sometime down the road something obvious will remind me of Buddy. There will be a sound, a scent, an action or just a quiet moment that will remind me of my departed companion. It hurts, I smile, I frown, I laugh and I cry.

A friend posted a picture with a poem on my Facebook page that read as such:

He is your friend, your partner
your defender, he is your dog.
You are his life, his love,
his leader. He will be yours,
faithful and true, to the
last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be
worthy of such devotion.
- Author Unknown

Buddy, you were that and more to me. You weren't just the family pet. You were like one of my kids. The oldest of my kids. You tried my patience like the kids do and made my blood boil but the love and happiness you gave me, the devotion of standing by the window as I approached the front gate and the wagging of the tail no matter the time of day when I came through the door is something that I will always cherish and miss from here on out. I mean I could have been gone for 5 minutes and you acted as if I was gone for days with the homecoming reception I got from you. It was awesome!!!!

I hope that I was able to give you all that you gave to me and then some. I hope that I was able to give you a life benefiting that of such a loving companion as you were to me. Thank you for always being a loyal companion to Nene and Gaby. Always showing patience when dealing with first infants, then toddlers and now children. Thank you for keeping momma on her toes, always letting her know who the boss was when I was around and showing her the proper love when I wasn't. I celebrate you with a sad, empty and painful heart and soul knowing that one day, wherever I end up after my days on this world you'll be waiting for me as wagging your tail. Until then, I will try to remember the good times we had. By the way, please don't swipe too many sandwiches off the counter. We wouldn't want you to get into anymore trouble than you already get yourself in.

Love you with all of my heart. Thank you for everything.

How About Two Splendas

For those of you who know me pretty well, have heard of my escapades in trying to get a cup of coffee to my liking. For those of you who don't then here I am in a nutshell. I love coffee. It's as simple as that. I love coffee during the day or late night. I have coffee at home, at work and on the road. So here is my dilemma: its hard to get someone to make my coffee as I like. I'm the kind of person who is not adverse to paying top dollar for a cup of coffee from Starbucks since I know that I'll order it once, have it repeated to me once and get it just as I asked for it. Going to other places for a cup of joe can be a bit of a adventure. Allow me to elaborate.

Before heading into work I swing by Bite of Lafayette between Bleecker and Houston Streets for a cup of joe. Now there are a few people that work there. The young Thai man is always on point. Now the latino is another story. This is where I find the situation odd. I talk to him in Spanish in order to facilitate my request. This is how I ask for my coffee: Large, Light with Half and Half with 1 Splenda.

Now mind you this is not the first time this exchange between me and him has happened. Like clockwork this is what comes next after I ask for the coffee: Are you sure you don't want two Splendas? The first time I just said no, the second and third times I told him I only take 1 splenda. The fourth time he automatically gave me two and I made him make me another cup with 1 splenda. Now this is probably the fifth or sixth time he does this so I had to let him know where I stood.

Me: Every time I ask for one splenda, you always want to give me two and I always say I only want one

Him: I think the coffee tastes better with two splendas

Me: I don't like it with two splendas. It tastes too sweet with two. Just let me have one please

Him: I'm sorry, its just that people like it better with two. Its ok, the customer is always right

Ok then, if the customer is always right then why is he always trying to give me two splendas. Its one thing if he gave me a few splendas on the side. That's cool, it'll just go with my stash of splendas. But to try to force it on me is just wrong. I work in the service industry. I can understand it if he was trying to upsell the coffee. Maybe a bigger cup for a better price. Nothing wrong with that. But to say that the way you want to make it is better than how I want it while telling me "the customer is always right" is just wrong dude. LOL.

Am I right? Tell me if I'm wrong.

FH

As Much As Things Change...

I know that in my line of work that I shouldn't be bothered by what people say and do. That I need to have a thick skin when dealing with people who are drinking. For the most part I just brush off what is said and keep going through my night. But sometimes, people can be real offensive. Allow me to elaborate.

During the course of our evening, if we see empty glassware on tables, we pick them up and leave them on the bar for the bartenders to take care of. The way I operate, I always ask whether or not said glasses are empty. A guy my size sticking his hands in a table full of people to grab things can be a bit intimidating. I understand that hence why I ask of the glasses are empty and make eye contact while doing so. Ok, so now that you know the parameters of how I "buss" glasses, here goes with the story at hand.

So I approach this particular table with two ladies and ask them if the glasses on the opposite side of the table were empty to which one of the ladies furthest away from me said "Yes". As pick up the glasses near the woman closest to my right, I look at her, make eye contact as give her a smile which she responds with a smile of her own. Everything is cool right? Not quite. 

As I start to walk off with my hands full of glasses, the woman who just smiled at me took her purse that was in front of her and pulled it close to her. That is the action that I shouldn't let bother me but it did and I refused to let it just sit there without responding. This is how the exchange went:

Excuse me Miss, I work here and the only reason I was at your table was to clear glasses not to steal your purse. I'm not a thief."

I caught the woman off guard since he seemed stunned at my statement. She seemed to realize what I said to her after a few seconds.

Umm, I was having a conversation and all I saw was hands reaching in.

I made eye contact with you and you returned my smile. You knew I was there. What you did was offensive. I actually understand your point of view but I just wanted to let you know that what you did was offensive. Not everyone is trying to rob you"

It's situations like that one that I work the way I do. I treat people with courtesy and respect in ways that many times I am not afforded in return.   I'm not one to walk around with a chip on his shoulders but I get it. I'm a big Latino male who when he wants to be can be very intimidating and seeing me approach the table can make anyone freak out. But when you pull your purse close to you when I made no hostile attempt towards you that's just wrong. A simply apology would have sufficed instead of lying to my face about not knowing I was there. I guess no matter how much thing change, they remain the same. Just keep in mind, that the same way you worry about the big Latino guy taking your purse is the same way the skinny white man or woman can pick your pocket. To quote the famous philosopher Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that".

Good night all.

FH

Ranting on a Cold Saturday Night in January

All we should aspire to in life is to be the best man or woman that we can be. We don't need to be perfect as that doesn't exist but to try and be the best we can be day in and day out. If we can't say that we are, then we all have some work to do. Don't you think?

Maybe it is seriously time to think about life in the woods with the animals. People and their petty hatred of things that really don't affect their personal lives is starting to bother me. Based on my prior statement it shouldn't bother me since it really doesn't affect my personal life but in my line of work I hear the garbage that people spew that unfortunately it does get annoying.

The way I look at it, life should be enjoyed and cherished because (for as much as I know) we only have one to live. Life is too short to say I hate so-and-so and hate this particular race, creed and or belief system. Life is too short for people to complain so much about what they have since there are millions who would jump off a cliff to have what you so dearly and vehemently complain about.

Perhaps I'm just too sensitive since I was picked a lot as a kid. Treated like shit because I was different due to physical differences. People can just be downright cruel when they are ignorant, unchangeable in initial reactions to something or someone or just downright afraid of what they don't know, understand or care to learn about. Not wanting to or even caring to look past the blinders which make up their narrow view on things.

Maybe I'm the one that should just have the shot, a brew and chill out.  

FH