A couple of funny Valentine's Day stories

Funny Story #1

While taking the A train down to work (I know. I live nowhere near the A train. How I got to the A train is not a funny story) this young couple gets on the train. The young lady proceeds to take a baking dish covered with aluminum foil from her bag and opens it. It is full with homemade cookies. She begins to ask people on the train (yours truly included) if we wanted some Valentine's Day Chocolate cookies that she baked earlier today. Umm, doesn't she know that the residents of NYC who ride the subway have learn the art of looking through people on the subway and not make any eye contact let alone take cookies from a stranger on the subway? When everyone (including your humble narrator) politely declined to take a cookie, she looked genuinely surprised and disappointed. Ah, the naivete of some people.

Funny Story #2

So this guy comes into the bar with this chick. Now this guy has come in before and he is a major ballbuster. He never tips and he never asks for his drinks with any kind of courtesy. He always says "I want a" or "gimme a", so to return the favor of his "courteous" behavior, I make it a point to ID him and whomever he comes in with. So I proceed to ID him and his date. He's born in 1971. No issues there, but she was another story. She shows me an ID, It says that she's a student from Bronx Community High School. Umm, I'm not sure if they realize but High School ID cards are not a proper form of ID to try to get into a bar. And the dude has the nerve to get upset. I mean really fool, she's showing me a High School ID. HIGH SCHOOL!!!!

So after they leave they try to come back in and she shows me a New York State Learners Permit. It says she was born in 1991. 1991!!!! I was a sophomore in college in 1991. I mean to each his own but damn, the girl, who by the way didn't look 18 was 18. 18!!!!! So let's do the math, shall we. He was born in 1971, and she was born in 1991. So that means he's 20 years older. Dude, can't you find a woman who's of legal age to drink? Do you have really to troll around High Schools to find a woman? C'mon now.

FH