When Fear Teams Up With Gut Instinct

For the first time in a long time I felt fear. As I walked from the St. Lawrence train station towards White Plains Road, I spotted a few guys hanging out by the corner. As I walked closer I noticed that it was actually five guys in total that I saw on both corners. There could have been more hiding in the shadows.

Immediately I go on the defensive by taking off my headphones to have a better awareness of the situation I might be walking into. There were two men walking a few feet ahead of me and these gentlemen seemed to be the object of attention for the group.

As the men crossed the intersection, one of the five darted towards them and they ran into the middle of Westchester Avenue. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Westchester Avenue, the 6 train elevated section runs above Westchester Avenue so there is often a decent amount of traffic under the "EL". Luckily for the two men, at 5:00am, the traffic on Westchester is limited. Getting back to the story, as the men ran to elude their pursuers their actions caused the men who were hanging out to laugh loudly. The man who initially made his way to the pair was shouting "Yo, they suspect my nigga. They suspect", which caused the other men to laugh even louder. Then I approached the corner.

Seeing how the pair ran and were jeered, I just decided to keep walking straight ahead past the guys. After I had passed then and walk down a bit further down the block I looked back to see if I was being followed. Luckily for me I wasn't. Now, I don't want anyone to think that I am a tough guy based on my decision to keep walking straight instead of crossing the street away from the group. I am a Bouncer in New York City and after having done so for 15 years I believe that doing so for that length of time has allowed me to learn to analyze situations in a swift manner and to be able to act accordingly. So in deciding to just keep walking, I felt that I would attract the least amount of attention, which is what happened. Plus my size can be imposing and I try to use that to my advantage whenever possible. Not to disparage the two gentlemen who chose to flee from the situation but compared to me both of those guys would not have filled my 6'1" and 300lb frame. I guess they were deemed to be easy pickings.

You may be wondering where my fear comes into the equation. It is like I tell people who ask me while at work if I am a tough guy because I am a bouncer. I tell them that I'm not a tough guy. I just work my shift and hope that I can get home to see my kids in one piece. Luckily I work in a bar where incidents are rare (BTW, knocking on wood as I write this). That's basically it in a nutshell. I see at least five dudes who are looking for trouble and I know that no matter how well I can handle myself, I would be outnumbered. I just want to get home in one piece.

Thankfully I didn't have to see the scenario play out in any other way, shape or form. Hopefully, it didn't play out differently for somebody else.
FH