Talk About A Shitty Commute

I step on the Uptown 6 train after work this morning to find a man taking a shit in the train car. Yes folks, the guy was taking a dump on the train and had the nerve to get mad at us for interrupting him while he was pooping. As if. We promptly left him to his shitting and moved into the next car. The rest of the ride was basically a comedy skit made up of a steady stream of commuters who got on the shitty car and made a bee-line to the now full next car. It reminded me of the chase scenes in Benny Hill. All we needed to hear was Boots Randolph's Yakety Sax over the loud speakers.

What I find curious is that a rider who got on later  blamed the MTA for their shitty service. As much as I have had my issues with the MTA, I can't blame them for this shitshow. You never know when someone is just going to pop a squat and drop a duece on the train. The dude did so after the train left the Brooklyn Bridge station.

I really feel sorry for the person who has to clean that shit up. My sympathies to you whomever you may be. That is definitely NOT in the job description.

FH

Here's a little travel music for your commutes. Enjoy ;)

The Stone Faced Señora on the Train

On comes this stone faced señora on the train, mean mugging each and every passenger (including your humble narrator). Now at 5am, the train is a very precarious blend of nightwalkers making their way home after a long night of work or play and those early rising daywalkers who are heading to work. And then there is the stone faced señora.

Now I can admit that I often find myself gritting my teeth at the racket on the train in the late/early hours. That's why I have my big headphones to block out undesirable noises. But back to my aggro amiga "Cara de Piedra Duran".

Like I said earlier, she stalks onto the train, mean mugs everyone and sits down with a look on her face as if she ate glass with nails smothered in battery acid and passed them while tearing her sphincter and surrounding hemmorhoids. Yeah, that's how she looked. But she gets worse.

This is the time of the day where people are going to work all nice and chipper after a good night's rest and a piping hot cup of tea, while listening to the birds outside their window sing them a beautiful aria to start the day. In having done so, they are more than willing to have a lively and spirited conversation on the good old early morning Iron Horse. Well, my aggro amiga did not like it in the least. Though she didn't say anything to the ladies who were talking at a reasonable volume, she kept sucking her teeth (making a louder noise than the women) and covering her ears with her fists while rocking back and forth to block out the apparently offensive noise. Luckily for all involved, including myself, the conversing chicas got off on 68th Street and our stone faced señora went back to mean mugging yours truly. I thought she was going to go nuclear while riding my favorite filly Iron Horse #6.

Luckily for me, Medusa's power of turning flesh to stone did not have an effect on me. She eventually stomped off the train a few stops later to grace others with her sunshine of a personality. And I say that I'm a curmudgeon.

Sweet dreams buttercup unless you also scare those away as well with your mean mug. Talk about "Frau Blucher".

FH

Detour MTA Style

Before I go into my story, I have to admit. I really haven't had much to complain about in terms of the MTA. Even with the upcoming fare hike, I thought the way they handled Hurricane Sandy was amazing. Service on my lines have been virtually flawless. But something has really been infecting people as of late. No, not the flu but the push people into the tracks bug has been rampant as of late. Now before we make assumptions, I don't know that this morning's issue was due to a pushing. But I was told that the delay on the Lexington Avenue line was due to someone being trapped under the train at 23rd Street. Knowing that, I can proceed.

I get to the Bleecker Street 6 train station at 5:14am with time to catch the 5:16am train and notice that a 4 train is pulling out slowly. On the PA system I hear do to a police investigation, there is no local service between 42nd Street Grand Central and Brooklyn Bridge in both directions. I quickly exit and walk to Prince Street to catch the N to 14th Street Union Square.

I wait at Prince for about 10 minutes and after a few minutes on the train I get to Union Square. I notice the LED time schedules all say "Delay" for the Lexington Avenue trains. That got my "Spidey-sense" a-tingling but continued down to the platform where a 4 train was in the local track with its doors open and everyone walking off the train. Apparently the train was stuck there until further notice. Now mind you, I just finished working a 9-hour shift at the bar with a bad day of sleep before (Momma-San is sick with the flu) so I was already beat up. But as in typical Sisco fashion, here I go on one of my epic early morning trips.

Out the train station I go Westward toward 14th and 7th to catch the 2 train to the Bronx. I always hesitate to catch the 2 train home especially late night/early morning. Why? Two reasons. One is that there is an unusual amount of jackassery that's happens on that line late night. The second reason only make the first one worst. The 2 train runs local late nights and going from 14th Street to Pelham Parkway (where I was planning to go) makes for a loooooooong ride. To avoid being caught in a sweepytime moment of my own, I got a cup of coffee to stay awake while on the train. Good news, the 2 train was pulling in as I was waking down to the platform. Bad news, it was indeed going local and that got even worse in the Bronx. Good news, there was no jackassery. Bad news, for some reason, the 2 train instead of going to 241st Street and Wakefield as it normally does. It detoured from East 180th up the 5 train line. So imagine how I felt when I heard at East 180th that the next stop was Morris Park and not Bronx Park East. So much for an easy remaining ride. Off the train we went to wait for a 2 train shuttle to take us to Wakefield. 15 minutes later we were finally moving North. By this time, I had to use the bathroom and dipped into the Rainbow Diner. After I bought another cup of coffee and used the facilities I walked to the Bx39 bus stop.

At this point it was 6:54am and the bus was due to arrive at 6:59am. Guess what happened next. The bus arrived on time? Yeah right. You didn't think I was so lucky for a bus to actually be on time. Silly of you to think so. Well, it was on time. The 7:09am bus was on time for its scheduled stop but the 6:59am bus was either super early or didn't show at all. Since the stop was empty, I'd wager that it was early. At least 5 minutes early. Truly unacceptable.

By the time this bus crawled down White Plains Road and I got home it was 7:45am. A full two and a half hours later from the time I left the bar. Mind you, my trip optimally can take an hour from the point I catch the train to the moment I walk in the door. Alas, that was not to be in the cards for me.

And here I am 10 hours later on a 6 train heading back to work. Ay-yay-yay.

Later,
FH

The Rat and the Sleeper on the Subway

Rat on the train video

I posted a video I found on YouTube the other day called Rat Riding NYC Subway Wakes Up Sleeping Homeless Man! Rat wakes up Homeless man. You can watch the video below:



As funny as it is to many of us New Yorkers, the comments that follow the video are even funnier. Now I am not targeting those comments that debate the authenticity of the video. I want to talk about some of the other comments. What I don't find amusing is how many people blame the MTA for this. Now for those of you that have read my blog before know that I am very critical of the MTA along many lines but I can't blame them entirely for the rat population in the subway system. The main ones who are to blame are those riders who treat the subway, it's platforms and the tunnels as their private garbage disposals. Yes folks, we in general and the pigs that litter in specific are the ones who should be blamed for the rats.

Honestly, when someone drops their half eaten food under their seat, on the platform and in the tunnel where do you think it goes. Maybe the refuse under the seats of the train car will eventually be cleaned by an MTA employee but in the other areas the rats take care of it. Imagine how dirtier the subway would be without the rats cleaning up our mess by eating what we carelessly discard. Now imagine this "unique" idea: How about if we all took our garbage with us when we left the trains and platforms and discarded said garbage in the provided garbage receptacles provided by the MTA. Don't you think that there would be less of a rat population if they had less to eat? I do. 

I don't blame the rats for doing what they do naturally which is survive. I blame the humans for doing what they naturally do which is ruin anything and anywhere they go to by being the filthy locusts that humans are.

FH

For Further Reading:
- Click Here to access Train Pigs, a blogpage devoted to Exposing Subway Eaters, One Pig at a Time

Subway and the Water Bottle

I'm at the Subway restaurant by the Hunts Point Train Station waiting on line to place my order when this thug walks in off the street with an empty plastic bottle. From my point of view it looked to be a liter. The thug just walks to the fountain soda section places the bottle under the nozzle for water and proceedes to fill his it. The person behind the counter looks at the guy in disbelief and tries to get his attention to no avail.

After filling the bottle, the thug looked up at the counterperson and started cursing at him. How dare the employee of Subway dare say anything to him for just taking water. In his words: Its just fucking water son. Get the fuck outta here with that shit he says "eloquently" as he leaves the store. It reminded me of how people get mad at me when I refuse to let them into the bar to use the bathroom without buying a drink. As if I have all the nerve in the world to tell them no.

Getting back to the Subway scenario. What happened to society that there are those who think that they are entitled to anything they want and fuck everyone else. That's like saying I'm going to walk into a bodega and take a bottle of water from the refrigerator and leave with it saying its only fucking water. People really have a lot of nerve.

What's the poor guy to do? Get into a fight with the thug and risk his life over a liter of water? And people have the nerve to say we live in a civilized age. Whatever.

FH

Guess It Was Bound to Happen Sometime

For the first time in my life I was stopped by the Police while in the subway. I just finished closing the bar with Rhea and after walking with her to catch her a cab, I walked over to Han's Deli and got a Snickers Ice Cream bar. As I walk back towards the Bleecker Street Station I see the police pull up to the corner. I don't think anything of it and I walk downstairs to the train station.

As I swipe my Metrocard I hear the police radios as they are coming down the stairs. I'm finishing the ice cream bar and as I am throwing the wrapper in the garbage can I hear "Excuse me sir" being said towards my direction as I am approached by four police officers. One of the officers I recognize from the routine community checks the Police conduct in the neighborhood where the bar is located. One of the other officers asks me "Where are you coming from".

Imagine my surprise, I have four officers standing in a semi-circle around me while I have the remains of a Snickers Ice Cream bar in my mouth. LOL. I mumble out past the caramel, ice cream and peanuts that I just closed the bar on the corner, the Bleecker Street Bar. Then the officer asked me what I do there and I said Assistant Manager/Head of Security (After all, I had to make it sound important). The lead officer asked to see my ID, which I willingly provided and asked if he could check my pockets. I said sure since all I had in there were my keys and some cash. As they were checking my ID, I apologize to the officers for answering their questions with ice cream in my mouth. That got a chuckle out from them. The main officer told me they had gotten a call and that I fit the description. Must have been some handsome dude who stole a pretty lady's heart. LOL. (Ah levity is a beautiful thing).

Once they were satisfied that I wasn't who they were looking for, my ID was returned to me and the officers apologized for stopping me. To which I responded "No Worries". The one officer that I recognized from the community checks nodded to me as she left. I continued to walk down the platform when a young man that was seated on a bench looked up at me and said "They're not supposed to do that" to which I responded "I'm not worried about it, I have nothing to hide".

It is like I tell the people that come to the bar without any form of identification: ALWAYS HAVE YOUR ID. Imagine if I didn't have my ID on me, I would have probably been taken to the Ninth precinct to establish my identity and gotten home really late and super tired. I understand what the young man was telling me about the Police not being allowed to stop me in the manner that they did. In all honesty, I don't have anything to hide. Never had and never will. The way I see it, why should I be hostile to the Police when all they are doing is their jobs. They were polite and never disrespected me while asking their questions and since there weren't any guns drawn I didn't feel threatened in the least. I guess after 37 years of living in New York City, I'd have to get stopped by the Police at least once. LOL.

In the end, I caught the 4:13am train as scheduled and I'm on my way home.

FH