Man I'm Tired of Complaing About the MTA

One day I'm going to end up in prison for assaulting an MTA Bus driver. I have friends that drive buses and I know their jobs, like mine, can be stressful but a little understanding on their part can make everyone's ride easier. Allow me to elaborate.

With the 6 train station, downtown side at Parkchester under construction those of us who ride the bus to White Plains Road and Westchester Avenue have to get to the 6 train station to St. Lawrence Avenue. The walk is short but the time between Parkchester and St. Lawrence Avenue can be cut to about a 2 minute ride by transfering for the Bx4 bus. So here is the reason for my anger.

I get off the Bx39 and see the Bx4 bus waiting for the light to change while it is sitting in the bus stop. 5 of us get off the bus and run to catch it. As I knock on the door, he freezes us out. Someone on the bus says something to him and he turns to us and shakes his head to tell us he wasn't opening the door. He shows us with his hands that since the bus was sitting in the crosswalk he couldn't open the door though he moved the bus up into the crosswalk while the bus was in the stop. The light turned and he just drove off leaving the 5 of us looking at each other in astonishment.
I'll tell you folks, there was a reason I left the house without cash. I take it as a sign from wherever. Had I had cash, I'd have taken a cab and caught up to the bus and given that fucker the ass beating of his life. I work in a profession where people bait us to see if we get into a fight with them so they can sue the bar for monetary gain. So to say that my patience is plentiful is an understatement. But what that motherfucker did was just wrong and bitch slapping worthy.

Assholes like that guy are the first to try to sway public opinion in his favor when they threat going on strike for their raises. How about working with the public that EMPLOYS YOU for once. Fucking Jackass. Karma will give him his just desserts and I hope I'm there to pass along the seconds.

FH

Subway and the Water Bottle

I'm at the Subway restaurant by the Hunts Point Train Station waiting on line to place my order when this thug walks in off the street with an empty plastic bottle. From my point of view it looked to be a liter. The thug just walks to the fountain soda section places the bottle under the nozzle for water and proceedes to fill his it. The person behind the counter looks at the guy in disbelief and tries to get his attention to no avail.

After filling the bottle, the thug looked up at the counterperson and started cursing at him. How dare the employee of Subway dare say anything to him for just taking water. In his words: Its just fucking water son. Get the fuck outta here with that shit he says "eloquently" as he leaves the store. It reminded me of how people get mad at me when I refuse to let them into the bar to use the bathroom without buying a drink. As if I have all the nerve in the world to tell them no.

Getting back to the Subway scenario. What happened to society that there are those who think that they are entitled to anything they want and fuck everyone else. That's like saying I'm going to walk into a bodega and take a bottle of water from the refrigerator and leave with it saying its only fucking water. People really have a lot of nerve.

What's the poor guy to do? Get into a fight with the thug and risk his life over a liter of water? And people have the nerve to say we live in a civilized age. Whatever.

FH

More E-mail Scams

I decided to break from what seems to be a trend in adventurous rides on the MTA to bring you some more e-mail scams. Ready folks? Here goes.

The first one comes from a Mr. Derick Richard

International Certified Bank Draft

Dear Friend,

How are you today?I Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition.

I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transaction and transfer of your international bank draft cheque to you from the bank,i am sorry for presenting and using someone else in your name to get this transaction successfull. Due to logistic reasons and your inconsistance to the other best known to you.

Right now, I want to inform you that I have successfully cleared the bank draft check fund to someone else account who was capable of assisting me in this great venture that have been over and successfull.

Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trustworthiness you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $500,000 Thousand United State Of America Dollars.

I have authorized Mr. Robert Mark whom I deposited the money to issue you a international certified bank draft, cashable cheque at your bank or anywere as choice felt. My dear friend I will like you to contact Dr James Douglas for the collection of this international certified bank draft.

His name and contact address is as follows:

COMPENSATION HEAD QUATERS

NAME: DR James Douglas
Email: james.douglas@rogers.com
Phone Number:+2347095040650

Contact Dr James Douglas At the moment, I?m very busy here in the united kingdom because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are having at hand In London Finally remember that I have forwarded instructions to Dr James Douglas on your behalf to send the bank draft cheque of $500,000 Thousand United State Of America Dollars to you as soon as you contact him without delay. Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart.

Thanks God bless you and your family. Hope to hear from you soon as soon as you've gotting my compensation and please do not get angry because that is what i have for now till i finish my project.

Best Regards.
Mr. Derick Richard

Ah, those Brits are so friendly and personal. So for my efforts to aid Mr. Douglas I am to receive a sum of five-hundred thousands in U.S. Dollars. Very Nice. Too bad Mr. Richard can't spell. I think the vaunted British education system failed him. LOL. Next!

Here's one from the United States Internal Revenue Service that says I am entitled to a tax refund:

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity, we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 1563.38 GBP. Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 2-3 days in order to process it.

Click Here to submit your tax refund request

Note : A refund can be delayed for variety of reasons, for example submitting invalid records or applying after deadline.

Best Regards

HM Revenue & Customs
©2010. IRS.gov | Internal Revenue Service | United States Department of the Treasury

Maybe I am just skeptical, but why would the United States Internal Revenue Service say that I am entitled to a tax return of 1586.38 in Great Britain Pounds. Wouldn't the notice have come from whichever governing body in Great Britain that regulates taxes and refunds? Nice try. Be gone!

This one is a new one. It supposedly comes from Facebook, who wants me to click on a link to fill out a survey:

Subject: Facebook Request


Hey,
You have been invited to participate in our short Facebook survey and receive a gift of your choice (click for list of gifts). Participation is required, see offer details

http://crinal.hightechquestions.com/index.aspx?274118-82529047-1714922

This one might have gotten me if it was sent to the email that I have on record with Facebook. Another one bites the dust. Peace!

This one says I may be eligible for G.I. Bill grant money:

Attention:
Re: Veterans Only - GI Bill Info.

You may be eligible for $1321/month for school from the GI Bill

Please register here to claim.

You could receive:
? Online- based Classes
? Knowledgeable Counselors
? Credit for Service
? Flexible Scheduling

The Montgomery and Post 9/11 GI Bills are worth over $49,000. Don't let this valuable benefit doesn't go to waste. Search for military friendly schools today.

This is all well and dandy but for one little detail. I never served in the military. Enough said!

This one says I am eligible for money from the United States Government:

PENDING: Government money may be available for you.

To see if you qualify, Click Here - it's FREE*

Receive $25,000, $50,000 or more!
Ticket ID #746R-XESI7085 will expire soon, please act now.

To see if you are eligible: Please Click Here

You have been selected to receive this ticket because you may be entitled to government funding. The US Government must find recipients in order to distribute over $360 billion dollars to organizations and private individuals.

Sincerely,
Government Funding Solutions Team

Listen, the US Government knows how to find me. They can just send me the check if they are so desperate to give away over three-hundred and sixty billion dollars. Really Now!

And this last little nugget comes with the label "Online Hookup" and comes straight to the point:

There Waiting
http://www.wiveswaiting.com

Keep waiting, my clicking of the link is imminent. I'm outta here.
FH

MTA: An Adventure on Every Ride Part II

Here is today's adventure on the #6 train. Due to a police investigation at 59th Street and Lexington Avenue the #6 train was stuck in between 68th Street and 59th Street. The conductor announces that for those that want to exit the train at 59th Street they should walk towards the front of the train where they would TRY (Notice the capitalization, bolding and italicization of the word) to get the front of the train into the station so they can open one door to let everyone off. Ah the good intentions of the conductor and train operator to facilitate out ride. But we all know which path is lined with good intentions. Right? I'll try to refrain from the sarcasm as I continue with my tale.

For all my train riding, this was truly a new experience. As I walked the length of the train through the conductor's inner sanctum into the front of the train, I had the feeling that I was a lamb being led to its slaughter. Ah public transportation. Nights like these make me want to reconsider my decision to not have a car.

As we sit and wait for the train to inch closer to our percieved freedom, the conductor announces that the police investigation is almost over and that the train will soon be moving. Happy Happy Joy Joy. In the end, after we all make the trek through the train to the front, it pulled into the station as it would usually do and continued on its way Downtown. No apologies, no reason, Nada, Bupkis. By the way, thanks for nothing MTA. Oh, by the way, I still have to get off at 14th Union Square since construction is making my get off at Bleecker Street an impossibility.

After the train stopped again at 23rd Street I decided to get off and take a cab. What can go wrong. LOL.

Like I said last week: MTA An Adventure on Every Ride.

FH

The MTA: An Adventure on Every Ride

I swear the MTA's slogan should be "The MTA: An Adventure on Every Ride" It seemed like deja-vu with my ride down to work this evening. In a trip similar to the one Myron and I took a few weeks ago, I had a similar odyssey in the opposite direction.

My ride started out standing on the 6 train that was full of the loud beach-goers from Orchard Beach. Thankfully I have only two or three more weeks of dealing with that until the beach closes and the trains on the weekends in my neck of the woods gets quiet. But I digress.

As the train goes express from Parkchester to Hunts Point Avenue (due to ongoing construction) the ride is swift and smooth. Lo and behold it was not to remain that way. Upon arriving at Hunts Point Avenue, the conductor announces that "We are being held at the station due to the dispatcher. Please be patient". I really must say that I hate to be told to be patient, especially if the train is stuck in between cars. As if I can go anywhere. Again, I digress.

I really don't want to be late to work so I get off the train and decide that I'll take the #2 train at the Simpson Street stop about 3 blocks away. Lady Luck seems to pity me a bit and has the Bx5 bus sitting there waiting for me. The Bx5 bus makes the four block or so walk from Bruckner Boulevard to Westchester Avenue go by in a snap. As I run up the long set of stairs I hope that there is #2 train service that is not being interrupted by construction. Yeah right.

In the way that Lady Luck look favorable on me, that fucker Murphy, whose law seemed to rule this particular part of my ride, screwed me over. A big sign in green letters said "No #2 trains" and the token booth clerk was letting people know that there were only #5 trains running and there were signal delays. Yeah yeah yeah, I knew that already. Down I go to make the next leg of my journey.

On the corner I waited for the same Bx19 that Myron and I took. As the bus arrived, I got on a bus that sounded like Bleecker Street Bar on a Friday night. It was loud and full, but unlike the #6 train I was able to get a seat opposite a woman with a young child in a stroller. Why do I mention the young woman and her child. Well, here goes.

The woman is texting on her phone and listening to her jams while the kid is going absolutely bonkers in the stroller. She's standing, jumping, twisting, leaning over the edge almost hitting her head on the floor (before I catch her) and the woman has no clue as to what is going on since she's engrossed in her phone and music. It finally took the kid taking her sandals off and throwing them halfway down the bus before the lady looked up and gave the kid a smack on the arm. It seemed like the kid has gotten a few of those before since she shrugged it off and kept twisting to an unheard version of Chubby Checker "Twist". LOL. Really folks, I wish I could make this up.

Finally, the bus crosssed the bridge from the Bronx into Harlem Heights where I get off on 145th Street and St. Nicholas Avenue to catch the Downtown D train. Why the D train? Well, the train leaves me at the Broadway-Lafayette Street Station which is a block away from the bar. My ride should be easy some part of the way, Right? The irony of where I stood hits me and causes me to chuckle. I am currently reading Ian Fleming's Live and Let Die, which is his second James Bond book. In this book his adversary is Mr. Big, the crime boss of Harlem who is an agent of SMERSH. Funny that I end up in somewhat the general vicinity of where I am reading. I really need to look into the nightclubs that Fleming describes in the story.

I go down the stairs of the station, swipe my card and help a young woman with a stroller down the stairs (a different one this time). As I'm waiting for the D and writing this post, I just shake my head. The electronic sign says in bright orange letters: All D train service will run local from 125th Street to 59th Street. In someone else's world the ride would be smooth and uneventful without any further interruptions. But I am not someone else and not surprisingly it doesn't end there.

As we approach 47-50th Streets-Rockerfeller Center Station, the conductor announces that the last stop on the D is 34th Street-Herald Square. So to continue my trip Downtown, I need to transfer to the N or R train which is upstairs or to the F which is across the platform. Since I'm tired of stairs, I decide to take the F and get off on the 42nd Street-Bryant Park Station to wait across the platform for (the hopefully arriving soon) F train. Being the train fanatic that my son is, he would truly get a kick with the amount of buses and trains that I have taken to get to work. So that gets a dry laugh out of me. At this point the ride is going on past two hours and counting.

As I wait for an F train that seems not to be coming, I start to second guess myself on not taking the D to 34th Street to change for the N or the R. But as a native Astorian I've had my fair share of delays on the N (For the Never Train) and the R (For the Rarely Train) to last my whole life, thank you very much. My gleaming chariot arrives in grand style into the station with nary an empty seat in sight. Surely I couldn't have expected to get a seat on every part of my ride, Right? LOL. Off I go towards the Broadway-Lafayette Street with 5 stops to go hoping nothing else happens to delay me even further.

The remaining ride is smooth and I go upstairs exiting the station on the corner of Crosby and Houston Streets. The time on my phone says 9:20pm. A forty-five minute trip done in two and a quarter hours.

Thank you MTA, my ride this evening was divine. Truly, it was an adventure on every ride.

FH

Myron and Sisco's MTA Adventure

Myron and I left the BSB Saturday night/Sunday morning on our adventure home. Myron has convinced me to take a cab with him to the Bronx. Reason for the cab is that I have to attend a BBQ with my family at my wife's boss' home in Bellerose Village later on in the day. Taking a cab would get me home faster. But there was a small problem, there were a bunch of people waiting for cabs, so we weren't able to catch one. We decided to take the train. And away we go.

The 6 is under construction at the Uptown Bleecker Street station. In order to go Uptown, a downtown train must be taken to Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall station. You cross to the Uptown platform and take the 6 back up express to Union Square and the rest of the stops to the Bronx. This has been happening for a few weekends now so it is not a surprise but here is where the inevitable monkey wrench comes in. As we're waiting, we hear an MTA employee telling the waiting passengers that there is no 6 train service. Apparently someone was hit by the train and they had no clue when service would resume. Myron and I decided to take the 2 on 7th Avenue. The problem with that was the 2 train is under construction from 96th Street on and the only way into the Bronx from there was via shuttle bus service. We were briefly sidetracked by this man rolling on the ground on East Houston Street trying to remove something off of his body. Whether he had something on him or not was unknown but it was sure intersting to see. But back to the business at hand

Off we walked down West Houston Street towards 7th Avenue. Even as we walked we noticed that there were a lot of people trying in vain to catch taxis. So we resigned ourselves to our fate on the train. After a quick stop at a deli for water we arrive at the 1 train station at Houston and Varick Streets to hear the rumble of an arriving train. Running down the stairs go Myron and I catching the Uptown 1 train in the nick of time. As we're riding Uptown, we notice that someone had left their phone behind. It was a Motorola from like 2000 with the big antenna coming out from the top corner. Definitely old school tech. In a pure stroke of genius Myron comes up with an alternate plan.

His plan called for us to take the 1 train Uptown to 145th Street where we could catch the Bx19 bus into the Bronx. The bus would leave him off on 149th Street near where he lives and I could take the bus to Hunts Point Avenue and Southern Boulevard where I can catch the Bx5 bus to my neck of the woods. Luckily for us there was a 12 minute wait for the bus and a shish kebob stand on the corner of Broadway and 145th Street. I highly recommend the kebobs from this gentleman. On Point!

The bus arrives at 5:38am and off it goes down 145th into the Bronx and down 149th Street. I feel that I have a chance to catch the 6:03am Bx5 but I could only ask for so much luck. I arrived here at 6:05am having just missed my bus. Alas, I would have to catch the next Bx5 bus which is due to arrive at 6:33am. And at 6:33am here came the Bx5 and off I continued with my best Odysseyus impersonation. Luckily for me, the Bx5 only takes about 12 minutes from Hunts Point to the corner of White Plains Road and Lafayette Avenue. After an uneventful walk I arrive home. I notice that my ride home took over two and a half hours to accomplish. I left the bar at 4:27am and I walked in my door at 6:56am and all I could do was wonder about a particular question that popped into my head.

The question that I asked myself was this: How the fuck do tourists manuever through this city when shit like this happens. Myron and I are native New Yorkers who know our way around town. But I see these tourists walking around during the day with their thumbs up their ass imagine them at night after a few drinks in a bar. God Bless them. After all we went through I'm glad to say this: Home Sweet Home.

FH

Miriam Miriam Needs My Help

I must be a magnet for the email scams these days. This time I received not only one email from a "young lady from Ghana named Miriam Miriam" but three. She must be special to have the same first and last names. She really must have something important for me since she's trying to hard to contact me. Well here's the first one she sent me:

HELLO,

I AM MIRIAM FROM ACCRA,GHANA. MY PARENTS AND MY ONLY BROTHER WERE KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT. SINCE THEN I HAVE BEEN WITH MY UNCLES BUT THEY HAVE MADE THING TO BE MORE DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE OF THEIR EYES ON MY LATE FATHER’S PROPERTIES. BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER, HE HAS $5.5 M USD IN A FIXED DEPOSIT DOMICILIARY ACCOUNT WITH A BANK IN ACCRA, GHANA, WHICH I AM THE NEXT OF KIN. I HUMBLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THIS FUND FOR INVESTMENT AND I WILL GIVE YOU 20% FOR YOU EFFORT .ON HEARING FROM YOU I WILL GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS.

SINCERELY
MIRIAM

I guess since I didn't answer her first request, she decided to be a bit more familiar in her second email to me:

DEAREST ONE
I AM VERY SORRY FOR APPROACHING YOU THROUGH THIS WAY KNOWING MY MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE SINCE I DON'T KNOW YOU OR MET WITH YOU BEFORE BUT AM OF THE BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD BE OBLIGED TO COME TO MY ASSISTANCE AFTER HEARING ABOUT MY SITUATION.I AM MIRIAM ,18 YEAR OLD GIRL, I WAS FORMERLY A MEDICAL STUDENT OF UNIVERSITY OF GHANA.LATE LAST YEAR OCTOBER 2009,THE REBELS IN MY COUNTRY STRUCK OUR TOWNSHIP AND KILL MY PARENTS BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS A POLITICAL LEADER IN MY COUNTRY GHANA.BEFORE HIS DEATH HE HAS $5.5 M USD IN A DOMICILIARY ACCOUNT WITH A BANK IN GHANA WHICH I AM THE NEXT OF KIN.PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS,TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS FUND,PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERRED,MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER AND LOOK FOR A GOOD VENTURE WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE INVESTED,I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 20% OF TH TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION OF YOUR EFFORT AND 5% FOR ANY OTHER EXPENSE YOU MADE AFTER A SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU
SINCERELY
MIRIAM

So now I am being address as "Dearest One". Very coquettish Miriam. You must be a real minx LOL. Not waiting for me to answer her, she sends me a third email a minute later:

Dearest One

I feel quite safe dealing with you through this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it because it still remains the fastest, surest and most secured medium of communication.I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before, but still i will want you to take me like a friend, and glance through my short letter.I am Miriam, 18yrs from Ghana,the only Survived child of Late Mr Robert who was murdered alongside my mother and only brother last year by rebels. I am Presently in an orphanage because of wickedness of uncle's and relatives. Before his death he had a domiciliary account here, up to the tune of (Five Million Five Hundred Thousand US dollars).Please I need your assistance to get this money transferred to you for my education, investment and to be my guardian before my uncles will get hold of me and the money. I shall forward to you with the necessary documents on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer of the money to you. I shall be glad to reserve this respect and opportunity for you, if you so desire, but i do urge you to give the matter your immediate attention it deserves. If this proposal is acceptable by you, please do not make undue advantage of the trust i bestow on you,and your urgent reply is highly needed today. I am willing to offer you reasonable percentage from the total money as compensation for your effort. May God touch your heart and use you to bring back happiness and joy in my life

Your Sincerely
Miriam

Again with the Dearest One Miriam? This Miriam sure is persistent and capable at pulling at the heart-strings. She needs me to help her with a money transfer in the sum of Five Million Five Hundred Thousand US dollars to be used for her education, investments and to be used so I can become her guardian. This little 18-year old almost made me crack a crocodile tear.

Are people really that gullible in cyber-land? I must be in the wrong line of work if these scammers are actually successful in their attempts to bilk money from poor saps. Amazing, simply amazing.

FH