Douchebag de Mayo

Says its sad when at 7:45 in the evening a young woman gets on the train piss drunk and due to her inebriation almost cracks her head on the seat to her right when she passes out due to her activities during Douchebag de Mayo. How do I know she was drunk? Well, I have worked in a bar for I've 15 years so I have some experience in the matter but in a more obvious manner, she smelled like a broken bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold tequila and stale line juice. Sad Indeed, Happy Cinco/Douchebag de Mayo.

Is It Really Wise to be Drunk During a Hurricane?

I have to say that I am really astonished that so many people that I know through Facebook are actually drinking and getting drunk with the impending arrival of Hurricane Irene. I mean think about it folks, wouldn't you  like to be at your peak mentally and physically when the shit hits the proverbial fan?

Maybe the weather isn't "hurricane-like" but do you really want to be hungover when it does show up? I know how my hangovers can be, and let me tell you, I can barely get up to go to the bathroom when hungover let alone possibly being told to evacuate in a crisis situation.

I know some of you will say: Well, you work in a bar. Yes, I do. I've done so for 15 years or so and I have been serving drinks "professionally" for the last three months. I say "professionally" in a general sense since I am no way near being a professional bartender. Amateurish sure but I'm taking my baby steps to the next level. But I digress. 

Those of you who really know me can attest to the fact that I have always been conflicted with people who drink and those who are drunk. Maybe it has to do with having a father who drank too much and seeing myself walk down that same path. Who knows what really goes on in this big old noggin' of mine. But I do think that getting piss drunk and hanging out on a rooftop or on a beach/shoreline or in an area that is deemed to be hazardous due to potential flooding while "waiting" for the hurricane to show up is a bad idea. Do I think the media is playing things up? Sure do. Why? Who the fuck knows. Ratings? All I can think about is that in optimal survival situations, being impaired by drugs, alcohol or any other type of impairing agent is not a good idea. 

Maybe I am acting older than my 38 years say I am. Maybe I feel that my time here on this little mudball is limited and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. Maybe I want to be here for my family and not be the jackass that gets drunk, crashes his car and runs round drunk in a potential Category 1 or higher Hurricane. In the end, like I told my wife earlier: There's so much that we can control. And I can't control how people are going to act. 

Don't be surprised if the next time you pop into the bar and ask me to do a shot and I politely decline. I think the best way to do something that I can control is by doing it by example instead of sitting here bitching about it while I'm bored at home. LOL. Sisco's off the sauce for an undetermined period of time. I'll get off of my soapbox now. May you all be safe out there during the next few days.

FH

On My Way Home From Work

So after working a seven day in a row stretch, here's a few highlights of my ride home:

- The token booth clerk at the Uptown Bleecker Street Station is in apparent need for a potty break. So as he's walking towards the bathroom door, he lights up a smoke and proceeds to smoke it before going in. Hey, I understand sometimes you need a smoke before using the can but as far as I know its illegal to smoke on MTA property. Why can someone who pays get busted but an employee not. And this would be the same guy to yell out "Pay Your Fare" at someone hopping the turnstile. Smells hypocritical to me. Just saying.

- There's a drunk and hungry dude who stumbles on to the train. Why do I think he's hungry? He's holding onto an open can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew and eating the contents can to mouth. Apparently there are no utensils required with this meal. To make matters worse, his upper lip and chin were red from the can hitting his face with every bump the train made. At least his tummy was full. Yummo!!!

- There's a family that gets on the train on 125th Street with two kids and a baby. I know its 5:00am, maybe they had somewhere to go. So the baby starts letting out the kind of screams that Jamie Lee Curtis was known for in the late 1970's horror flicks. Hey, I had kids. I know when they are that age they cry. Its how they communicate. I personally didn't mind since I had my headphones on, but the other riders, especially those who were sleeping might have something different to say. But I digress.

So the kid is letting it rip and the parents are scrambling to prepare a bottle of formula. Mom is holding the baby and gives dad a bottle to rinse out. Mind you we're on the 6 train. Dad takes a Coke bottle with water and transfers some to the empty baby bottle to clean it out. He rinses it a bit and empties the contents on the platform.

Ok, cool. But apparently the bottle wasn't clean enough. So he decides to do it again. This time it seems that he's trying to time his dumping of the water with the closing of the train doors. He mis-times the empting of the bottle and instead of dumping the water on the platform, it hits the now closed door causing a wet mess on the floor and on the sleeping person on the other side of the door. Finally he makes the formula and the kid eats and goes to sleep.

- As I'm walking towards the bus stop near Parkchester, this person is walking my way wearing a pink dress. I'm assuming that its a woman (though I can't tell from their looks). So let's use "She" for a lack of a better term. She is looking for empty bottles and can. Hey, doing her part for the environment. That's cool. But that's not why she catches my eye. As we cross paths, I notice that she is well endowed with a large bosom and a pair of the biggest and hardest nipples that I have ever seen on anyone that is dressed. I mean these were protruding to the point that I had to do a double take along with the other people walking in my direction. If those missles were that noticble when she's dressed, she'd poke an eye or two out when she would remove her bra. Again, Just saying.

And with that, I am almost home. Can anything else happen? LOL.

FH

It's Our Fault You're a Douchebag

Last night Stevie catches a couple making whoopee in the ladies room and proceeded to escort them from the bar. The "lady" gives us no trouble whatsoever. The "gentleman" was another story. He takes the tact that the reason why he went into the bathroom with the lady was that it was our fault. How so?

Well, the man lectures Stevie and I that it was through our bartenders negligence of over serving him of his alcoholic beverages that was causing him to act like he was. That his behavior was a caused by our lack of moral responsibility when it came to over serving him and his lady friend. People, I kid you not. That was a first for me, but it gets better. He continues by saying that since he was already over served, he was going to finish his drink no matter what I or anyone else thought about it. I told him three words, take a guess of which three I uttered. 

So as he went to take a sip of his drink, I snatched the glass from his hand and told him to hit the bricks. Now he wanted to know my name so he could call the cops and report me. As if I had offended his sensibilities by not letting him do what he wanted to do. As if. People live their perfect little lives not used to hearing the word "No". Well, never let it be said that I'm above using the word "No" and breaking the delusion of grandeur of the many assholes that walk through our glass doors.

Long story short, he walked out on his own, proclaiming that we were the negligent ones and threatening to call the authorities. And people wonder why I have a specific disdain towards "suits". Bunch of douches. 

FH

Two (of the many) Things That Irks Me About The Subway

Two of the things that irks me about having to deal with on the trains occurred on my ride home. One is getting on a train car after someone smokes a cigarette on the train. God only knows how people rode the trains when not only one person smoked on the train but everyone was allowed to. I'm not sure when smoking was barred from the trains but not only is it nasty it's fucking rude. Bad enough I walked into a cloud of cigarette smoke, but since I got a ticket two weeks ago for walking in between cars "without authorization" for trying to get away from a smelly fucker, I had to wait until the train stopped at the next car to change cars. If you need to smoke that badly, go between the cars. Is that too much to ask?

The second thing is when you have a drunk person sitting in front of you and he fucking can't sit still. To make matters worse, he's singing to a song on his cheap ass mp3 player with an off-key voice and stomping his feet to the beat. After having to deal with the smoke, I have to deal with this jackass? I so wanted to smack his face and give him a swift kick to the ass as I threw him off of the train. Luckily for both of us, he got off at 86th Street before he pissed me off any further.

Sometimes I really hate people. 

FH

Here's a Sneak Peek Into What I See at Work

I hate to stand on the soapbox and comment on things that I really can't control but life is really scary out there. Take the drunk woman last night at the bar as an example. She was drunk, making out and dancing with various guys making herself to be quite the easy target. I hate to take a sexist POV on this but I probably don't think twice about it if it was a dude acting the same way.

Sure the guy (in the same situation) is in jeopardy of being mugged, beat up and even worse in his state of inebriation but my mind always goes back to the situation at The Falls a few years back.

That issue was that a drunk woman was left alone at the bar by her friends and left the premises with a bouncer who raped and killed her, disposing of her body like one would do a bag of garbage. I'm not saying that's what was happening last night. Luckily for her, we at the bar take ourselves, our jobs and our place of employment seriously. Since she was alone, we tried to put her in a cab so she could get home safely.

As with drunk people, things are never easy and this was no different. We had difficulties putting her in a cab since she refused to (or couldn't) tell us where she was going. Finally, after putting her in a cab, she gave the cab driver a hard time even smacking him in the face when he tried to get her out of his car. He said he was willing to take her where she needed to go, but she wasn't cooperating with him. She also refused to give him her address. Eventually they pulled away, hopefully taking her home or to the nearest precinct.

She left her coat and phone behind in the bar. I contacted her through Facebook letting her know about her coat and phone being in the office and that she should come get it. She has yet to contact me or the bar about her things so I'm a little worried to say the least.

Being the father of a 7-year old daughter I can't help seeing my child in these kind of situations and it's downright scary. Bad enough I'm conflicted about working in a bar. My conflict stems from feelings of being partly to blame for how some of our patrons are destroying themselves with alcohol. Granted, they are adults and drinking voluntarily, but at times I still feel awkward earning my keep by working in a bar even after 15 years. It really is scary.

Hopefully the young lady got home safely and comes by the bar and gets her things.

FH

New NYC Anti-Drinking Campaign

I have to admit that I get a kick out of the new Anti-Campaign that New York City through the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has going on the trains. On a various of sites of which I will link to at the bottom of the post, people are ranting about how the Bloomberg administration is trying to act as a "nanny" over the citizens of NYC, how the victim is made to be the bad guy instead of the bars and stores that sell the alcohol, how the ads make gender generalizations and other arguments against the ads. While I think that the ads are somewhat hypocritical since the city and state (in theory) would stand to gain more in revenues due to taxation of excessive alcohol sales, I believe that they are fairly accurate. Why do I think that? I see it in practice five nights a week.

I see people come into the bar looking clean and sober and see their de-evolution due to drinking. You know what, its quite a depressing sight. I'm not saying that the person who has one, two or even three drinks in a responsible manner fits that mold. Far from it, but I do see the people that the ads are depicting on a nightly basis, shuffling to and from bars and restaurants like the zombies in a George Romero flick. While some might say that we are the enablers, my staff and I do our best to keep an eye out for those patrons who might be reaching what we believe to be their limit. By working the door we also try our best to keep out those people who we believe have had too much to drink. And as some of the articles that I posted show, people don't like to be told what to do.

I compare it to the legislation regarding seatbelts, helmets for motorcyclists and smoking in bars. While said legislation was enacted to make our lives safer it came with the protest of those it was meant to protect. Take the smoking ban for an example. I remember working in the bars in NYC and being surrounded for hours by a haze of smoke. While I thought the law was pushed on smokers, I would hate to have to go back to working in that environment. Even smokers admit that bars are better now that they don't have to smell and breath in all that second-hand smoke (well, they are less apt to saying that smoking on the streets during the Winter). Back to the booze.

I think there is an added dimension to the whole alcohol argument. The Noble Experiment known as Prohibition came and went in this country from 1919-1933 and in my opinion it failed miserably. There are many reasons why it failed, but I think the main reason was that many people saw drinking as a harmless vice and they were not going to be told when and where they could have a drink. First hand I know drinking is not a harmless vice. People that get excessively drunk put themselves in positions that they normally would not to. I believe that alcohol unleashes the inner person for either good or bad. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these Bible Thumping Carrie Nation Prohibitionists. I partake of a drink or two every once in a while. Heck, I've got as drunk as those who I turn away at work. But I personally know how excessive drinking can be harmful. From a father who was seriously injured in an accident while riding in a car with a group of drunk co-workers to having to endure the insults and the occasional confrontation with a drunk I have seen it and will continue to see what excessive drinking can do.

Who is to blame. Can blame really be placed? Sure you can blame the bar who serves the drinks. I'll admit, there are bartenders and bar managers who can be negligent in serving drinks for the sake of profits. At the same token, a patron who is turned away or cut off from drinking more can often times find somewhere else to do or resort to buying alcohol in a deli or grocery store. In a perfect and idealized world I think all sides involved would act "responsibly". Last I look we don't live in a perfect world.

Will the ads on the trains have any effect on the people the ads are targeting? Who knows. If it causes just one person to maybe re-evaluate their drinking then I guess the ads work. I'll get off of my soapbox now.

FH

For Further Reading:
- Click Here to See the New Health Department Camapign of the Dangers of Excessive Drinking
- Click Here to access Katherine Hobson's blogpost Are NYC Anti-Binge Drinking Ads on the Right Track? from the Wall Street Journal Blogs dated December 2, 2010
- Click Here for Billy Wharton's article NYC Health Department blames the victim in anti-drinking ads from the Examiner.com dated January 10, 2011
- Click Here to Access Andy Newman's blogpost Health Dept. Puts Up Holiday Anti-Drinking Decorations from the New York Times City Room Blog dated November 30, 2010