Rest in Peace Buddy 6/2001-2/23/2012

We often take routines for granted. They are something we do on a daily basis and when we need to shake things up a bit we like alter said routines for a sense of change. But what happens when our routines are changed due to a loss of someone or something important. How do we deal with what some would call mundane tasks.

It's something that I am having a hard time dealing with since we decided to put our dog Buddy to sleep. Buddy was a part of our lives for almost 11 years and part of our kids' entire lives. Something as simple as sitting in the living room could be punctuated with the jingle of the tags of his collar as he moved around the apartment, to his chasing the cats around to his placing his head on my lap as I sat in my chair. I mean waking up is weird since Buddy slept on my side of the bed and I always had to be wary about stepping on him. So you can imagine how eerily quiet the apartment is without the big lug making his usual racket.

I know that things like losing a dog or a cat to a disease or illness is part of the experience of having an animal companion. But no matter how much you plan for the inevitable, we're creatures of habit and are used to having our faithful and unconditional companions by our sides day in and day out. Even though Brigette and I had the discussion a few days earlier, I guess I just never thought that I would have to be the one to make the final decision on Buddy so soon.

I know he is at rest. Part of me is relieved for him and grateful that he is at rest since I know that at least for the last week Buddy was not himself. The symptoms of anemia that he was exhibiting made him a shell of his former energetic self. Had that been the only issue, but there were many underlying issues such as many lumps that seemed to be growing over his whole body including the massive lump that was lanced in December which refilled and became even bigger than the original in a matter of a week early this month. Add that to the swollen right paw, the edema of the chest that he developed and the very blood filled urine that he expelled while at the vet dispelled any doubts that I may have been feeling in my decision to give my Buddy some peace from the undoubted pain that he was silently suffering. I know some people have said and will say that I made the right decision. And I know that in the long run that I have made the right decision. But its hard to feel that way after spending his final moments with him, watching him close his eyes and take his final breaths and seeing him lay peacefully. It's an image that I'll have burned in my mind for the rest of my life.

I can only speak for myself but I find that things for me will never be the same. I know that at sometime down the road something obvious will remind me of Buddy. There will be a sound, a scent, an action or just a quiet moment that will remind me of my departed companion. It hurts, I smile, I frown, I laugh and I cry.

A friend posted a picture with a poem on my Facebook page that read as such:

He is your friend, your partner
your defender, he is your dog.
You are his life, his love,
his leader. He will be yours,
faithful and true, to the
last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be
worthy of such devotion.
- Author Unknown

Buddy, you were that and more to me. You weren't just the family pet. You were like one of my kids. The oldest of my kids. You tried my patience like the kids do and made my blood boil but the love and happiness you gave me, the devotion of standing by the window as I approached the front gate and the wagging of the tail no matter the time of day when I came through the door is something that I will always cherish and miss from here on out. I mean I could have been gone for 5 minutes and you acted as if I was gone for days with the homecoming reception I got from you. It was awesome!!!!

I hope that I was able to give you all that you gave to me and then some. I hope that I was able to give you a life benefiting that of such a loving companion as you were to me. Thank you for always being a loyal companion to Nene and Gaby. Always showing patience when dealing with first infants, then toddlers and now children. Thank you for keeping momma on her toes, always letting her know who the boss was when I was around and showing her the proper love when I wasn't. I celebrate you with a sad, empty and painful heart and soul knowing that one day, wherever I end up after my days on this world you'll be waiting for me as wagging your tail. Until then, I will try to remember the good times we had. By the way, please don't swipe too many sandwiches off the counter. We wouldn't want you to get into anymore trouble than you already get yourself in.

Love you with all of my heart. Thank you for everything.

How About Two Splendas

For those of you who know me pretty well, have heard of my escapades in trying to get a cup of coffee to my liking. For those of you who don't then here I am in a nutshell. I love coffee. It's as simple as that. I love coffee during the day or late night. I have coffee at home, at work and on the road. So here is my dilemma: its hard to get someone to make my coffee as I like. I'm the kind of person who is not adverse to paying top dollar for a cup of coffee from Starbucks since I know that I'll order it once, have it repeated to me once and get it just as I asked for it. Going to other places for a cup of joe can be a bit of a adventure. Allow me to elaborate.

Before heading into work I swing by Bite of Lafayette between Bleecker and Houston Streets for a cup of joe. Now there are a few people that work there. The young Thai man is always on point. Now the latino is another story. This is where I find the situation odd. I talk to him in Spanish in order to facilitate my request. This is how I ask for my coffee: Large, Light with Half and Half with 1 Splenda.

Now mind you this is not the first time this exchange between me and him has happened. Like clockwork this is what comes next after I ask for the coffee: Are you sure you don't want two Splendas? The first time I just said no, the second and third times I told him I only take 1 splenda. The fourth time he automatically gave me two and I made him make me another cup with 1 splenda. Now this is probably the fifth or sixth time he does this so I had to let him know where I stood.

Me: Every time I ask for one splenda, you always want to give me two and I always say I only want one

Him: I think the coffee tastes better with two splendas

Me: I don't like it with two splendas. It tastes too sweet with two. Just let me have one please

Him: I'm sorry, its just that people like it better with two. Its ok, the customer is always right

Ok then, if the customer is always right then why is he always trying to give me two splendas. Its one thing if he gave me a few splendas on the side. That's cool, it'll just go with my stash of splendas. But to try to force it on me is just wrong. I work in the service industry. I can understand it if he was trying to upsell the coffee. Maybe a bigger cup for a better price. Nothing wrong with that. But to say that the way you want to make it is better than how I want it while telling me "the customer is always right" is just wrong dude. LOL.

Am I right? Tell me if I'm wrong.

FH

As Much As Things Change...

I know that in my line of work that I shouldn't be bothered by what people say and do. That I need to have a thick skin when dealing with people who are drinking. For the most part I just brush off what is said and keep going through my night. But sometimes, people can be real offensive. Allow me to elaborate.

During the course of our evening, if we see empty glassware on tables, we pick them up and leave them on the bar for the bartenders to take care of. The way I operate, I always ask whether or not said glasses are empty. A guy my size sticking his hands in a table full of people to grab things can be a bit intimidating. I understand that hence why I ask of the glasses are empty and make eye contact while doing so. Ok, so now that you know the parameters of how I "buss" glasses, here goes with the story at hand.

So I approach this particular table with two ladies and ask them if the glasses on the opposite side of the table were empty to which one of the ladies furthest away from me said "Yes". As pick up the glasses near the woman closest to my right, I look at her, make eye contact as give her a smile which she responds with a smile of her own. Everything is cool right? Not quite. 

As I start to walk off with my hands full of glasses, the woman who just smiled at me took her purse that was in front of her and pulled it close to her. That is the action that I shouldn't let bother me but it did and I refused to let it just sit there without responding. This is how the exchange went:

Excuse me Miss, I work here and the only reason I was at your table was to clear glasses not to steal your purse. I'm not a thief."

I caught the woman off guard since he seemed stunned at my statement. She seemed to realize what I said to her after a few seconds.

Umm, I was having a conversation and all I saw was hands reaching in.

I made eye contact with you and you returned my smile. You knew I was there. What you did was offensive. I actually understand your point of view but I just wanted to let you know that what you did was offensive. Not everyone is trying to rob you"

It's situations like that one that I work the way I do. I treat people with courtesy and respect in ways that many times I am not afforded in return.   I'm not one to walk around with a chip on his shoulders but I get it. I'm a big Latino male who when he wants to be can be very intimidating and seeing me approach the table can make anyone freak out. But when you pull your purse close to you when I made no hostile attempt towards you that's just wrong. A simply apology would have sufficed instead of lying to my face about not knowing I was there. I guess no matter how much thing change, they remain the same. Just keep in mind, that the same way you worry about the big Latino guy taking your purse is the same way the skinny white man or woman can pick your pocket. To quote the famous philosopher Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that".

Good night all.

FH

Ranting on a Cold Saturday Night in January

All we should aspire to in life is to be the best man or woman that we can be. We don't need to be perfect as that doesn't exist but to try and be the best we can be day in and day out. If we can't say that we are, then we all have some work to do. Don't you think?

Maybe it is seriously time to think about life in the woods with the animals. People and their petty hatred of things that really don't affect their personal lives is starting to bother me. Based on my prior statement it shouldn't bother me since it really doesn't affect my personal life but in my line of work I hear the garbage that people spew that unfortunately it does get annoying.

The way I look at it, life should be enjoyed and cherished because (for as much as I know) we only have one to live. Life is too short to say I hate so-and-so and hate this particular race, creed and or belief system. Life is too short for people to complain so much about what they have since there are millions who would jump off a cliff to have what you so dearly and vehemently complain about.

Perhaps I'm just too sensitive since I was picked a lot as a kid. Treated like shit because I was different due to physical differences. People can just be downright cruel when they are ignorant, unchangeable in initial reactions to something or someone or just downright afraid of what they don't know, understand or care to learn about. Not wanting to or even caring to look past the blinders which make up their narrow view on things.

Maybe I'm the one that should just have the shot, a brew and chill out.  

FH

How to Send a Christmas Card to a Recovering American Soldier

My friend Ellie posted the following information on her Facebook page that I wanted to pass along. She recommended that for their of you out there who are sending out Christmas cards, to take at least one card and send it to a recovering American soldier.  

The address for sending said card is:

Holiday Mail for Heroes
PO Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456

The deadline for sending cards is December 9, 2011.

The 2011 Holiday Mail For Heroes program is administered by the Red Cross, and funded/managed/screened gratis by Pitney-Bowes. Here are the rules: 

Card Guidelines:
Every card received will be screened for hazardous materials by Pitney Bowes and then reviewed by Red Cross volunteers working around the country. Please observe the following guidelines to ensure a quick reviewing process:

- All cards being sent in for should be postmarked no later than Friday, December 9, 2011.

- Ensure that all cards are signed. Use generic salutations such as “Dear Service Member.” Cards addressed to specific individuals can not be delivered through this program.

- Only cards are being accepted. Do not send letters.

- Do not include email or home addresses on the cards, as the program is not meant to foster pen pal relationships.

- Do not include inserts of any kind, including photos, as these items will be removed during the reviewing process.
We encourage participants to mail as many cards as they are comfortable sending. If you are mailing a large quantity, please bundle the cards and place them in large mailing envelopes or use a flat rate box from the post office. Each card does not need its own envelope, as cards will be removed from all envelopes before distribution.

- Please refrain from sending holiday cards with glitter. Many of these cards will be delivered to military and veterans medical facilities and the glitter could interfere with a patient's recovery.

So do a little to bring a bit of happiness to those who are giving so much of themselves for the freedoms that we enjoy everyday.

FH

To Like or Dislike Tim Tebow

I have asked this question a few times, both to myself and others. Why is Tim Tebow disliked and hated. I can probably say that it has to do with a few things. 

As the adage goes, nice guys finish last. In this case, it remains to be seen whether or not Tebow succeeds, people really seem to hate the guy because he's living the dream that we all would like to live. Allow me to elaborate. 

I hear that he's being given a chance rather than earning it since he doesn't have the necessary talent to play the position of Quarterback. He's overrated is another thing I hear about him. That remains to be seen. Who's to say that his way of playing the position is wrong. I thing people get to caught up in Pre-conceived notions of what a quarterback is. I also think people hate the kid because he's smart, eloquent, good looking, defined and shaped by his beliefs.

Tebow is a very strong believer in God. That is probably the big reason why he's hated. One gentleman I spoke to told me that he hated the fact that Tebow always seemed to mention God. His practice of taking a knee and giving thanks to God after a scoring play has been ridiculed by many including opposing players. But my thing is what's wrong with that. If Tebow was trying to preach from the Football field and pass judgments on others then maybe I can see some of the resentment. But the fact that he given praise to his savior shouldn't be a reason to hate the man. They are his beliefs. He's not the first athlete to praise God. He won't be the last. Remember Reverend Reggie White?

The way I see it, in this sports landscape of douchebags, dead beat dads, drug users and cheaters a person of Tim Tebow's character should be a role model rather than being vilified. He lives a clean lifestyle, spending much of his free-time helping those in his community and many within poor communities around the world. I guess most people today find it cool to love the "Bad guy" over the "Good guy". In the case of Tim Tebow, I hope he succeeds so he could shut up all those detractors and haters.

FH

- Click Here to access Austin Murphy's article You Gotta Love Tim Tebow from SI.com dated July 27, 2009

MTA Closing Late Night

So it was announced on the WNYC blogpage by Andrea Bernstein in a post called City to Put Brakes on Some Subway Service Overnight that the MTA will be shutting down lines during nighttime hours and some lines completely during the entire weekends in order to perform construction normally done piecemeal during the weekends. For those of you who know me, know how much of a critic of the MTA that I am. As much as I wish I could get all upset and frothed at the mouth like a rabid dog about this AND as much as I don't like the plan, I'm surprised it too the MTA this long to implement it. It really is the most realistic way to go about it. 

Consider this: that much of the NYC Subway system is over 100 years old, consists of over 600 miles of track and runs in it's entirety 24-hours a day, 7-days a week. To maintain a system of it's size and depth without interrupting service is virtually impossible. Take the London tube as an viable example. In segments it is older than the NYC Subway and It shuts down from 2am-5am for cleaning and regular maintenance on most lines if not longer on others. Most other cities shut down every-night from about midnight to 5am if not earlier.

For those who are complaining about the fares, that's where our money is going. To make sure the repairs that are necessary get done. I'm going to feel the inconvenience first hand when my lines get shortened in January with no service from Grand Central to Atlantic Avenue. I guess I'll just have to leave early and detour to get to work. Let's hope it's like the MTA says: Performing work in this manner is expected to shorten the overall duration of projects, minimizing customer inconvenience and maximizing worker safety

I hope they are right.

FH